Leadership Part II

Once you have begun the practice of building self awareness and managing yourself, you begin to create the climate that is most suitable for leading others.

When you realize that leading others has nothing to do with your stardom, you become more successful in helping others.
 You have the awareness to identify where you are, what's ahead and what will bridge the gap. 

Moving from yourself to them:

What happens when you lead others? You have to be a constant student of communication. You study, explore and learn more about how to effectively communicate. Most communication is non-verbal and is traded through body language, facial expression and "energies" exchanged.  We now have to be hyper aware of what place we are coming from with everything we communicate. Be clear which place you are residing in: Abundance or Deficit. Your energy shapes the space for not only yourself, but everyone who is counting on you.

This is why the most important thing to ask yourself when leading others is: Who are you being in this moment?

What does standing in abundance look like? 
Draw this picture for yourself. Generally you feel open to possibility, forgiveness, change and self-expression. You are empathetic, compassionate, loving and unburdened. In abundance you find joy through helping others because you truly recognize that their success is shared success.

My friend being a great leader acting in abundance.

What are some characteristics of leading from Abundance (in no particular order)? 

1. Who's leading you? Being in the place of thinking you know it all is not only dangerous, but also impossible if you are leading yourself. Make sure that you have a circle of trusted mentors who can do the same for you, as you are doing for your people. They will offer valuable advice, see the bigger picture when you are suck and act as a sounding board as needed. You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
2. Active Listening- One of people's deepest desires is to be seen and to be heard. By doing this alone you are taking your leadership to high potential zone. With active listening, you are not waiting to chime in after each word that triggers your emotions. You are trying to sit in their experience, empathizing and being solutions focused. *Helpful tip: repeat back what you heard to make sure that you are understanding them fully! You might hear something different, or help them get clearer on what they are feeling.
3. Intention/Creating Space- Make your intention of the interaction known. You really want everyone to win, make it known you are their biggest cheerleader but that this may also require telling it how it is. 
4. 360 Vision- Practice clearly seeing where you and your group are at, where you want to be and identify Smart, Measurable, Attainable, Relative and Timely ways of getting there (SMART). 
5. Candor-Once your intention is set, you should be able to speak with candor. You can freely explore obstacles, pathways and solutions without threatening the parties involved. *This will only be successful if you are coming from a place of egolessness and abundance. 
6. Checking yourself- Bullshit and self-serving thoughts can set off radars from miles away. If you need to take the time before entering crucial conversations, then do it. The success of your team depends on them trusting you. It is imperative to be clear yourself before working with them. Get real with yourself and what the desired outcome is, why is this what we need to do? 
7. Blow your bubble-All that people have is their experience. This means they only have their experience of you.  You must trust yourself enough to create a safe space for them to give you feedback. Draw an imaginary bubble around yourself when entering crucial conversations, practice your deep breathing and stay grounded. You could put your hand on something, pay attention to where you are connected to the earth, etc. It is important to practice self-care in these moments, because if you go to the place of high emotion with them the results will typically not be ideal. 
8. Discernment-You must also be able to discern which feedback is valuable and which is coming from people who are not leading themselves. This is probably the hardest part of leadership. If you are leading, you are going to make mistakes, say things that trigger others and occassionally be a real embodiment of your primal instincts. Discernment is not to say you know better than anyone else, it just means that you really recognize how the material is affecting YOU and you are choosing if you want to let that energy contribute or detract. 
9. Investment-You are pouring yourself into your team. Make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons and that people are not taking advantage. If trust is there, gift your knowledge, your words and your thoughts with your team. This is why they are there with you, to be in relationship.
10. Concision- Communicate your point with as little room for interpretation or negative emotion as possible.  
11. Clarity- Be impeccable with your word, authentic and with great intention for all parties involved. Define and assign work to be done, including communicating with the boss and others about needs or expectations, planning, organizing, choosing people, and delegating. It's crucial!
12. Recruiting-Sometimes you are going to get lucky. You will choose who you allow on the team! Really look at who is striving, who is thriving and who is in between. Formulate the groups that will facilitiate growth. Don't be afraid to turn people away if you see that it is going to rob others of an enriching experience. It doesn't mean they are bad, it might mean they aren't ready. (This is a great time for your to practice your egoless leadership in giving feedback around the real reasons why it won't work for someone right now! Leave them in possibility.)

I highly recommend reading this book if leadership intrigues you. 

Leading others brings you into a new awareness of who we are being for eachother, creating space for others to thrive, be the best version of themselves and win! We are all responsible for leading others but depending on where we are at with leading ourselves, some will grow more quickly into the role.

xoxo

What I've Learned so Far About Leadership Pt. 1

If you are a natural leader, you might have realized by now that you rarely choose to be the leader, it just seems to happen. This can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you deal with it. I have had a lot of experiences to be a leader. Sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it is really challenging. Once I embraced my natural tendency to be a leader, I was really able to begin developing as a person.

Always be looking up, there is so much to learn and so much space to grow. 

After having taken groups abroad, led retreats locally, managed teams in many different forms: professionally, recreationally and in emergencies, I have made one very strong observation about being a leader.

The world needs more effective and egoless leaders. 

I believe that where we are stuck as a society is due largely to the fact that we don't have many effective and egoless leaders in the places where we need them.


What does being an effective and egoless leader mean?

You allow others to shine, take credit and succeed.  You trust, see the possibilites and believe in the general good nature of people. You give and create opportunities, setting people up for success to thrive because you believe in their goal and honestly never considered or gave a shit about glory. You are willing and look forward to partnering and collaborating with people. You constantly give and recieve valuable feedback. You admit when you don't fully show up, shortcome others and act out of fear.

Being a leader is tough, but if you love seeing people win, it is the most rewarding practice.

I wish to be very clear that being a natural leader doesn't make you more of a person on any hierarchical scale. In fact by being an effective leader you will allow yourself to be subjected to more criticism than most people will and it will be very difficult. This is a choice and a practice which can be developed or dissolved.

A great lesson that I was taught about leadership from my time at lululemon athletica: 

SUCCESS AS A LEADER ALWAYS COMES BACK TO WHO YOU ARE BEING.

Have you ever had a boss who always passed the buck to someone else? Who never listened to your feedback? Who had a short temper and a very obstacle focused attitude? You probably didn't feel good working for them and quickly developed the same habits of negativity, resentment which lead you to burn-out and hopefully you realizing you needed a change!

There is a very beautiful structure that many large organizations are using to define the practice of leadership. Here it is: 

The following is a combination of what I have 

learned from all of my experiences, 

some have been taught to me and some I have learned. 

The Foundation of Leadership 

Leading Self

In a way, we are really all responsible for leading ourselves. Leading self is the foundation of egoless leadership. Here you take personal responsibility, hold yourself accountable and create boundaries/values/commitments to who you choose to be. The leadership of self ebbs and flows, some days you feel particularly strong and sure of yourself, other days insecurity will force you to question yourself. 

To lead yourself you must be grounded. You are confident that you have value and purpose, but it never leads you to the belief that you have mastered anything. You have a desire to learn more, never declaring yourself as the expert (even when others percieve that you are). You don't settle for anything less than happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of your life. Here you create positive manifestations of success and wonderment. 

These qualities indicate you are leading yourself: 

1. You are aware of your ego. You know when you are taking things personally, you can discern between criticism from another persons ego, and feedback that is truly meant for you to succeed. You are aware of when your ego is driving you for good or for worse. 
2. You are a great communicator. Your words and actions align. You say what you mean from a place of authenticity. You generally don't let your anger or emotions get the best of you & when you do, you clean it up quickly. 
3. You take responsibility and own your mistakes. You are not afraid to make errors or fail. You realize that you pick yourself back up quickly, heal and keep moving forward. 
4. You always realize that you have a choice! You choose what you believe, where you are, what you do and WHO YOU ARE BEING. Opinions of others only matter to you if you decide that they do. 
5. You live in a place of opportunity. Obstacles exist but never stop you from moving forward. You are solutions focused and aways living in what is possible, not "I can't do that because...." 
6. You have integrity. You can count on yourself. You do what you say you will do when you say you will do it. You have built up a positive environment for yourself to live.
7. You are in touch with your body. You make time for self-care, you practice wellness, physically and mentally. 
8. You forgive yourself for the times when things get the better of you. You self-soothe, take time to let the negative emotions flow through you and then let them subside. You take the measures to love yourself. 
9. You have a vision. You aren't going to let life take you completely where everyone else is going. You trust your gut, set intentions and continually move in that direction. You never settle for mediocrity. 

Ask yourself honestly if any of these apply to you. Being a leader begs of you to take the deepest look at yourself and who you are being. When you have identified where you are not really practicing a part of this you get to decide how you proceed. 

I hope that this inspires you to begin leading yourself and committing to doing it every single day (if you are a true leader it will!).