Does this look familiar?
The journey is even tougher if you live in the western hemisphere, where the ego prevails, insisting that not even "good" is enough. There was a time once, when we were very young, where most of us don't recall being unhappy, because we did have enough- and it probably didn't include internent access or a smartphone.
Simple human connection, a warm place to rest, food to eat and warmth were all you needed to survive. Our thoughts not fully developed yet, were very simple- can we trust? are we hungry? what do we phsyically feel? Yet we see that young children find a lot of joy as they begin to explore the world. Together these things carried us through our early years until that moment.
The moment when we realize our friends are having fun with their toys too, maybe even more because it looks like a pretty damn cool toy that we saw on that commercial. Now, we need to have that toy too, plus the other 3 things you saw at the toy store. You have been told that you do not have enough by people that want to make a lot of money off of you. Not only does this go for the toy industry, but we all know that the female beauty industry would not even exist if this were not the case. Think about all the things that you do throughout the day in order to make your life better, is it working for you?
When you think about basic human needs, a lot of the discontent people (including myself) are not lacking in things that we need at least some money to buy- food, clothing, shelter. So why are we so depressed and jealous? The underlying factors here are driven by the unconscious desire to survive and thrive. What our ego holds often looks like greed and materialism but what what's really going on there is the belief that we are not good enough. Only once we have achieved a certain level of status, accumulated wealth or materials, will we be worthy. Of what? I am not exactly sure, but these industries must know- because they have us chasing after it.
Simple human connection, a warm place to rest, food to eat and warmth were all you needed to survive. Our thoughts not fully developed yet, were very simple- can we trust? are we hungry? what do we phsyically feel? Yet we see that young children find a lot of joy as they begin to explore the world. Together these things carried us through our early years until that moment.
The moment when we realize our friends are having fun with their toys too, maybe even more because it looks like a pretty damn cool toy that we saw on that commercial. Now, we need to have that toy too, plus the other 3 things you saw at the toy store. You have been told that you do not have enough by people that want to make a lot of money off of you. Not only does this go for the toy industry, but we all know that the female beauty industry would not even exist if this were not the case. Think about all the things that you do throughout the day in order to make your life better, is it working for you?
When you think about basic human needs, a lot of the discontent people (including myself) are not lacking in things that we need at least some money to buy- food, clothing, shelter. So why are we so depressed and jealous? The underlying factors here are driven by the unconscious desire to survive and thrive. What our ego holds often looks like greed and materialism but what what's really going on there is the belief that we are not good enough. Only once we have achieved a certain level of status, accumulated wealth or materials, will we be worthy. Of what? I am not exactly sure, but these industries must know- because they have us chasing after it.
Subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity, freedom- Max-Neef's definition of the fundamental human needs. In order to achieve balance and joy, a person must be experiencing all of these things. When we do not, we start to take the edge off by filling the void with something else. Companies know this and they hire psychologists to study the human mind finding our weaknesses and using that to advertise their products and services. When we start edging, be it shopping (this is my go to), eating, drinking, over-exercising any sort of behavior that will create a temporary distraction you create a sense of joy that lasts momentarily, enough to give you the rush of wanting to do it again: addiction maybe bordering obsession.
We can do it! But it's a practice! In many places around the world, where culture is not tainted by main stream media and basic human needs are met, (even if it is a tin sheet for a roof, one pair of shoes/shorts/tee and food to eat) are elated with joy every single day. They are connected to the people around them in a deep, secure, affectionate, understanding, fun, wanted, needed way. Everyone has a unique role for which they are respected, even if the sphere is as small as a rural family. These people are out working with their hands amongst eachother for survival and that is enough for them to consciously and subconsciously feel they are living a life of purpose.
We can do it! But it's a practice! In many places around the world, where culture is not tainted by main stream media and basic human needs are met, (even if it is a tin sheet for a roof, one pair of shoes/shorts/tee and food to eat) are elated with joy every single day. They are connected to the people around them in a deep, secure, affectionate, understanding, fun, wanted, needed way. Everyone has a unique role for which they are respected, even if the sphere is as small as a rural family. These people are out working with their hands amongst eachother for survival and that is enough for them to consciously and subconsciously feel they are living a life of purpose.
Have you ever participated in a multi-day isolated group adventure? One where only bare essentials for survival were provided? If so, maybe you too, have experienced a glimmer of that feeling.
When this happens we are able to leave daily trivial worries behind and almost immediately share stories and pee in front of eachother as if we have always been a group. Out there, everyone is disconnected from the grid. Despite the lack of internet and cable the groups are able to create some of the quickest/strongest connections ever made. How long the connection lasts doesn't really matter. You may walk away and never speak to those people again, leaving a fond memory like a disposable camera but something much more important has happened here: in this group you have established a role and identity for yourself, people know you- the singer, harmonica player, comedian, optimist, pessimist, cook, whatever AND it brings you great joy to share this with them for no reward. In this group you have created a circle of trust, you will not be left behind and you would help a group member if help were needed. In this group you have discovered that human beings are hardwired for connection, weather realizing it or not a group dynamic quickly forms and rarely is there a clique.
I would never expect that everyone would want to go on a group trek and find some purpose, but it helps to demonstrate how we can truly share our personas when we are in a safe space, feel needed and feel that you are vital part of the group. The trek is a fully encompassing example for me, because I have had that experience. Maybe you have felt it by other means?
There are small steps that we can take to allow ourselves to feel deeper connection and let go of the mind so you can live from your heart. But you need to discover what works for you. Your ego is always going to tell you to do more, be better, win, gain, go! Your heart is witness to the fact, you are indeed already enough. You are a unique, imperfectly perfect, human of purpose and divinity no matter what material possessions indicate. How can you start to create space for yourself to believe that as true? How can you find others to support you who know that this is true for you?
I wish I could take a trek once a month or more, making it a huge part of my life because I love it so much. Hiking is great ya, but I love how well I get to know these people in such a short amount of time. Because that is not practical, on a daily basis it is my yoga teaching practice- being honest, open and there for my friends- fellow teachers - yogis.
When this happens we are able to leave daily trivial worries behind and almost immediately share stories and pee in front of eachother as if we have always been a group. Out there, everyone is disconnected from the grid. Despite the lack of internet and cable the groups are able to create some of the quickest/strongest connections ever made. How long the connection lasts doesn't really matter. You may walk away and never speak to those people again, leaving a fond memory like a disposable camera but something much more important has happened here: in this group you have established a role and identity for yourself, people know you- the singer, harmonica player, comedian, optimist, pessimist, cook, whatever AND it brings you great joy to share this with them for no reward. In this group you have created a circle of trust, you will not be left behind and you would help a group member if help were needed. In this group you have discovered that human beings are hardwired for connection, weather realizing it or not a group dynamic quickly forms and rarely is there a clique.
I would never expect that everyone would want to go on a group trek and find some purpose, but it helps to demonstrate how we can truly share our personas when we are in a safe space, feel needed and feel that you are vital part of the group. The trek is a fully encompassing example for me, because I have had that experience. Maybe you have felt it by other means?
There are small steps that we can take to allow ourselves to feel deeper connection and let go of the mind so you can live from your heart. But you need to discover what works for you. Your ego is always going to tell you to do more, be better, win, gain, go! Your heart is witness to the fact, you are indeed already enough. You are a unique, imperfectly perfect, human of purpose and divinity no matter what material possessions indicate. How can you start to create space for yourself to believe that as true? How can you find others to support you who know that this is true for you?
I wish I could take a trek once a month or more, making it a huge part of my life because I love it so much. Hiking is great ya, but I love how well I get to know these people in such a short amount of time. Because that is not practical, on a daily basis it is my yoga teaching practice- being honest, open and there for my friends- fellow teachers - yogis.
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