Kali.

About once every five minutes an incident of domestic violence is reported in India, under its legal definition of "cruelty by husband or his relatives"- The BBC 2014. 

I go down to the beach every morning and every night. Small Vagator in Goa. It is one of the more secluded beaches of Goa, boasting beautiful sunsets and pristine waters. I like to roll out my towel or sit in one of the beach chairs and order a mango lassi.

Every day women come around persistant on selling you bindis, henna, threading, coconuts, jewels, sarees... pretty much whatever you want. Sometimes I pretend that I am sleeping so they won't question me because I really don't want any of their trinkets. Other times I have to say "no" quite aggressively, if it seems like they are swindling. This was not the case with Kali. 

All of these women are working very hard. Most of these girls come to the beach for the season from their villages, for the "on" months. They sell things, perhaps even set up a shop, while their husbands work as labor hands nearby. The ages of these vending ladies is generally between 18-34, I did a bit of research. I have worked with three beach vendors so far, one gave me henna, another a foot massage and lastly Kali and her crew who would have threaded off all of my hair if I let them. 

I chit-chatted with all of them, and though their stories were unique, there was a stroke of familiarity in them all. Arranged marriages, abusive husbands, alcohol and no say in the matter. Kali's story hit me the hardest.

It's really interesting that this girl's name is Kali. Kali means "She Who Is Black” or “She Who is Death” in hindi. It also means breaker of ignorance. Kali is a goddess with many arms and who wears a belt of severed heads around her waist. The point though, is that she is the breaker of ignorance.  Although you will not see posters or statues of Kali in temple, she is one of the most worshipped goddesses in hinduism.

The first time that I met Kali she was very skiddish. I said that I wanted to get my eyebrows threaded and that I had never done it before. She happily obliged, but would get up and walk away every few minutes. I quickly realized that there were patrol men walking the beaches and that her actions were connected to theirs. The lassi walla told me that there was no solicitation allowed on the beach, that was why Kali was running around. These women were offering their services illegally. Though the punishment of 1200 rupees ($20) and an hour being lectured didn't seem that bad to me, this is a lot for them. 

In between her occasional disappearances I got to know her a bit better. How old she was: 27, arranged marriage: yes, kids: 3, happy: debatable. She explained that she was able to provide these services of threading and hair braiding, but if she herself were to have any of these things, she would be disowned by her husband and village. Sadly, Kali disappeared and didn't come back. A bit later, and a bit concerned, I learned that she had been taken by the patrol. I paid her friends what I felt was reasonable and asked them to give her the money. 

Today I went back to the same spot, hoping that Kali would be there. I felt partially responsible for her getting into trouble. Thankfully Kali found me at the beach. She remembered everything that I told her. My name, what I was doing, why I was there. I knew that I was not the first customer that she had wooed but it didn't matter. I actually enjoyed talking with her. I let her finish her job, she insisted saying that she could hardly sleep knowing that she had only done half the work. I told her it was fine, and that I was just glad that she didn't get into too much trouble. 

After Kali was done with the work, she sat at the end of my beach chair and hunched over my legs. She placed a bindi in the center of my eyebrows, indicating that I was married. She told me how she wished that she could wear a bathing suit on the beach, she wished she could shave her legs and do her eyebrows. She told me how she wished her skin was whiter and how she hopes that her daughter will get to choose her husband. I asked her again if she was happy, she proceeded to tell me that she lived a hard life, but it was for her children. She said "...every woman in my village has the same or similar story, we have no voice. We do what our husbands tell us, and they leave us for other women, but we can not go, we can not say anything. I have to be happy." Kali was only 16 when she was arranged for marriage. Kali is the same age as me. She said to me "My body is the same as yours, maybe a little bit different color, but I should wear the same as you if I want." Of course when I suggest that she do that, she told me she would be killed and laughed. Kali says she has to be happy, I interpret the alternative is that she would be absolutely miserable. Despite the hard lives that these women live, they smile, they laugh and they dance. 

I asked Kali, if there was one thing in the world you could do, what would it be? She answered quite simply: "Choose my husband." Such a smart girl, speaking english quite well and so beautiful. When she showed me the scars on her head and her arms that her husband gave her with a broken glass bottle while he was drunk, I shuddered. I simply pulled her into my arms and told her I was sorry. She asked if I would bring this photo of us to the market tomorrow. I promised I would buy something from her shop. 

Normally I don't pay any mind to beach peddlers but Kali was kind, and clearly was doing this not only to earn some cash, but to learn about the ways of the world that exist outside of her small village in Maharastra.
In other places like Central or South America I just wave them away, because normally they are men and they are not interested in anything but your money. In Goa, it feels different. The women are charming and of course their success depends on it. However, even after a transaction, they expect to sit and chat with you for another hour and seem very disappointed when you leave. Your wallet is always still there when you go. These women love to learn! They want to know what the world is like, what your life is like, they want to understand how it is possible to have a choice so that they can teach their daughters. You can see the wonder and enchantment in their eyes. Things are changing if it is up to them. 

After I left Kali I started to ponder more the question of how could I help. Would ignorant Western thinking of divorce and self-defense or women's rights only make her more vulnerable to attack by her village and her husband? I don't know. I have to think about this some more. 

I knew there was a lot of domestic violence in India, but it seemed so distant from the Sadhus and yogis in Rishikesh, or the colorful sarees and fragrances of Delhi. There are lots of people working hard to empower women, to educate women and to help them understand their fundamental human rights. The most difficult feat in overcoming this issue is reach. Some places are so remote and so technologically disconnected that it takes so much longer to relay any message. Tradition, dowry, machoism and arranged marriage are alive and well in the remote villages of India. I hope that Kali's story will help more to understand. She was the breaker of ignorance for me.  

Holy Cow!

India is a land of much beauty and spirituality. There are the beautiful places to visit as well as lands that seem to be a toxic mess. You can see the many contradictions that exist here. Colorful, decadent sarees next to a begging lepper walking down the street (I have to admit the vibrant wardrobe of the women here is probably one of the most beautiful things to experience. It makes India at least 50% more beautiful!). A brand new Audi SUV cutting off a bicycle rickshaw.

I had some expectations about the cows before I arrived here. I imagined I would see people feeding, cleaning, petting them and treating them with very much respect. This is because I had heard that hindus believe over 200 Gods live on every cow. With the growing organic movement in India there is also much respect for the cow because of their incredible ability to digest food and create the best compost available. I did not travel all over India, only to about 8 towns/villages, therefore I do not want to generalize about the environment for cows over this enormous country, it may be different elsewhere. In fact, the roads in Goa where I currently am, are much cleaner and there is grass for the cows to roam on.

There are many uses for cow products all over India. People often build homes out of cow dung, straw and cement. It creates a cooling element that withstands the climate. Milk is used to create curd, yogurt, milk and the ever important ghee. Ghee is clarified butter, removing the lactose and leaving just the fat. Ghee is central to Ayurveda. Ayurveda is the ancient spirtitual and medicinal practice of wellness. It looks at homeopathic and naturopathic methods of healing and is based of the idea of doshas being in balance. It is very interesting, if you are intrigued I encourage you to look into it. Most of Northeast India practices vegetarianism, for kindness to all animals. In the south, around Goa and Kerala you might be able to find beef and leather products.

It came to my surprise that the cows here were living in the garbage of the cities, just as much as in the country-side, at times emaciated or with extremely swollen stomachs. I think most people have an idea of India being very polluted and very poor. Certainly this is true of some places here, but there are also some of the most beautiful, such as Guragaon outside of Delhi, parts of Goa and Mumbai too.

There are no enforced standards for emissions leaving heavy hazes and smog, there are also no waste removal services or training on how to properly get rid of waste. Consider for a moment that since television is newer to the average home in India how difficult it is to convey a message. Also consider that the cheapest products tend to be the most unfriendly to the enviroment. This is a lethal combination and it is demolishing the green space in cities such as Delhi, Haridwar and Dehradun.

To create a picture for you, imagine driving over a bridge in a rickshaw, surrounded by smog and heavy beeping traffic, the bridge is covering a riverbed that is dried and completely full styrofoam, plastics, metals as well as scavenging beggars and bovines. Specifically in the north where it does get cool at night, the trash provides insulation and warmth for the cows and people to sleep.

I was also surprised to see how people interact with the cows. There is no doubt that the cows create a large inconvenience and cities like Chennai have already stopped allowing them to freely roam the street. They will stand in the middle of the road all day if you let them.

The purpose of my writing this is to question, is the practice of letting cows roam the cities freely outdated? Does it now pose more of a risk than it does benefit, and is there more harm towards their health in letting them unknowingly consume waste than there is to move them into greener pastures?

I have to agree with the decision to move cows out of cities, or at least confine them to green space for two reasons. 1) The cows are forced to live in an environment that is not natural to them and therefore are eating and drinking things that they normally would not, this is killing them. As people are expanding the city limits and expanding their waste expendature the cows are left with less and less green space. If the proper space for cows to roam safely is not available and they are so sacred, why should their health be risked by putting them in a foreign enviroment? 2) The practice of free roaming cows in the city seems to create more of a problem than a solution. Shop keepers get angry when a cow comes to their stand and trys to taste a product, sometimes the owner will even go as far as to punch the cow in the stomach or the behind to get them to leave. The energy levels of the city cows is very low. Most of the time they lie on the cement or in the garbage. Compared to the cows that I got to work with on the farm who were vibrant and fiesty, the city animals seemed lethargic and disengaged. It was an extremely sad thing to watch. If you didn't look closely or didn't have something to compare their behavior towards, perhaps it would go unnoticed. I am not sure if this is why city dwellers have not caught on.

My intention here is not to put down the systems of India, or to remark at how they could improve. I would just like to speak as an observer. Since the cows and any free roaming animals are left to pick at the garbage, they are infected with many diseases. Plastics are getting stuck in the intestines and bowels of these animals and they are left to suffer and eventually die on the side of the road.

At the Navdanya institute, the farm that Mike and I volunteered at, myself and a few other “bijaks” (seedlings is the translation and it is what they call us as volunteers) have requested that just as Navdanya has been a pioneer for seed and food soverignty not only in India but in the world, that they would also begin to talk about the issues of malnourishment and improper treatment of these sacred animals. Navdanya is an extremely respected organization around the world but the founder Vandana Shiva, hails from Dehradun the capital of Uttarakhand. We hope that people will start brining the issue to the forefront of the conversation. We do believe that this shift could create other shifts towards more vibrant, clean and healthy communities.  

You have to go to Rishikesh!

Namaste!
I hope you are well today! Mike and I have finally arrived at Bija Vidyapeeth, located outside of Dehradun the capital of Uttarakhand. Though I am excited to be still for a while, I have to say that I really didn't want to leave Rishikesh. This small city straddling the banks of the Ganges has captured my heart, along with the hearts of countless other Western tourists that I chatted with.

Compared to Delhi, Rishikesh is quite clean, peaceful and feels much safer. I attributed these factors to how spiritual of a place Rishikesh is. There are temples upon temples, ashrams on top of ashrams and tribute statues to Lord Shiva everywhere that you look. The Sadhus (def: good, holy men) are abundant and clad in their orange robes and facepaint.

A typical Sadhu in Rishikesh.

Despite how many non-Indian yogis and yoginis visit Rishikesh each year, I would say that it remains largely untainted by western culture. Could they cash in and create luxury accomodations, dining and shopping? Of course! Do they see opportunity? Yes, and some of them have taken advantage of this. They are so deeply embedded in their spirituality however, that they wouldn't stray from their good intent, to be authentic. Talking to shop owners, in specific the owner of LA Seeds of Life Cafe (MUST GO- best food in Rishikesh) the aim is to provide the most similar experience of Rishikesh that you could have gotten years ago. People come for the yoga, whether or not they get what they expected is another question.

My breakfast at LA Seeds of Life Cafe

The yoga in Rishikesh is mostly Hatha (knees drop and hips up in Chaturanga), the focus is on alignment and breath. Be prepared for adjustments that feel like they are going to dislocate a shoulder, break your neck and crack your spine. I was startled by this and multiple times told the instructor that I had met my limit, he said trust. He was right, I had both legs behind my head in a minute with his help (that never happens). They know what they are doing though the anatomical explanation may be lacking. Most classes start with chanting, followed by asana, savasana and finally pranayama (breath work). You will leave class feeling lighter and connected to the divine energy that emanates from Rishikesh and the Ganges River.

Mother Ganges is supposed to be the healer of all ailments. 

I am not joking when I say that there is certainly a feeling of higher energy. While I was eating breakfast one morning, my waiter had lit some incense and went around the cafe chanting and waving the incense to the posters of Shiva, Krishna, Buddha as well as the window facing Ganges, he wasn't doing it for show or trying to hide his beliefs, I love that. What you will find here is that people fiercly believe in their Hinduism. This is the most enticing reason to come. Every day hundreds of people will ride to town, slip off their shoes and line-up for the temples of Laxman Jhula. They will ring bells, dip their forehead in pigment and chant together. To have absolute faith in something is inspiring.

Man dressed as Hanuman giving a blessing and expecting some rupee.

Along with the people, the weather is beautiful, and nature is pristine. You may be blessed by a Sadhu dressed as hanuman trying to make a bit of cash, but enjoy the moment. You really can feel the joy and lightness that these people spread.

Where to practice yoga: Yoga Vini, Kriya Yoga or Parmarth Niketan walk around and find drop in class times ahead of time! You will not find them online or on facebook, it can be very confusing! Classes vary between 200-500 rupees.
Where to stay: Budget- Tapovan Resort, Luxury- Atali
Where to eat: LA Seeds of Life Cafe, Nector Juice Bar, Nirvana Bistro and Ramana's Organic Cafe
What to do: Wander around and get lost, you will find narrow corridors of shops and steep stairs winding through the Laxman Jhula. Cross the bridges, walk to Patna waterfall and definitely go rafting (about $12USD). Take a cooking class at Babli's Kitchen
What to buy: Mala beads, this is their birthplace. You also might like some bindi!
What to wear: Some people wear whatever they want, for yoga you cetainly can! It seems as though not many women practice yoga and the true Sadhu yogis do not take class commercially. On the street I think it is curtious to wear a scarf and a pant or skirt past your knees. No bikinis on the river!

 Enjoy! Namaste!

Delhi, a Sensory Overload.

Happy day everyone! Though I am writing from a different part of India, I wanted to share my thoughts quickly on Delhi. The airport is quite close to the city, which was great considering that my flight landed at 4am. I grabbed a pre-paid taxi to Hauz Khas village in South Delhi. 

What I didn't realize before arriving was just how large Delhi is. There is Old Delhi and there is Delhi where most of the modern infrastructure is located. I recommend taking a rickshaw and hitting both areas up. 

You can smell the heat from your plane arriving in Delhi. The wall of scents collide into you as soon as you leave your gate. You smell it all on the streets incense, body odor, waste, flowers, textiles and curries. It truly is amazing and lives up to all anyone has every told you who has been here.

The complex in Hauz Khas, great to relax and get away from the heat and chaos of the streets.

Hauz Khas is a good place to acclimate as there aren't as many people here and it is fairly clean. I recommend using it as your home base. From the Hauz Khas you can grab a rickshaw and head into the rest of the city. This was the best way I saw fit, the metro is incredibly packed and I wouldn't recommend it. Taxis are expensive and you can probably get to the center of the city for 250 rupees. 

Take the rickshaw to the Red Fort, Qutb Minar, Humayan's Tomb and the Ghandi Memorial. All attractions are about 300 rupees away. You will see the India Gate on your way to Old Delhi. You can stop here for a stroll on the parkway. 

My favorite, and I believe most authentic experience in Delhi was Chandni Chowk market. There are pretty much no tourists here after 5pm. I went at 7pm, definitely not a good idea if you are female traveling alone. Ask your tuk-tuk driver to drop you at Sunehri Masjid. I wore a headscarf so that I wouldn't stand out. There is a large mix of Muslims and Hindus here. You will also want to wear sneakers or shoes, the ground is very dirty. No open toes or sandals. Be prepared to see poverty as well. Lepers, begging children and babies rolling in the filth of the streets. If pollution bothers you or creates asthma you might want to bring a face-mask. There aren't emission regulations and there is visible smog.

In Chandni Chowk you can find anything that you can imagine that is India: sarees, spices, candles, ayurvedic oils, jewelry, calling cards, curries, fruits, traditional dress... you name it! I don't recommend eating the street food unless you have tested your gut flora very well in other countries. I did not get any illness while in Delhi, but I was very careful to boil water to brush and only drink from a bottle. I didn't order any uncooked vegetables either. You have to eat at Karim's! You will get over the flies very quickly, it is arguably the best curry in the world. 

Butter chicken, butter naan, mutton masala and saag palak at Karim's.
The most authentic eating experience, located in Old Delhi. 

Overall, I felt most safe in Hauz Khas, where there are numerous temples to visit and remnants of the past. I loved Deer Park! It is very clean and there is great people watching as well as 100's of deer in the park to see. Hauz Khas market was OK but not as good as going into Chandni Chowk.

When in Hauz Khas I recommend going into the Complex and Deer Park to sightsee during the day, it is free. Grab a juice or cocktail at Coast Cafe on the second and third floor when you walk into the gate of the village. Try the Ammam with coconut curried vegetables. Wander through the quirky boutiques of Hauz Khas for the most modern shopping experience. Entrepreneurs of Delhi are really giving other metropolitan areas a run for their money!  At night visit Imperfecto for a rooftop drink! 

Hauz Khas shopping and eating are a must here! Most upscale area of Delhi that I saw.
This is a very popular place with the younger upper class crowd and tourists. Prices are a bit higher here,
but there is space to breathe and it is much cleaner than other sections of the city. 

The people of Delhi work very hard and take pride in all that they do, I loved how the rickshaw drivers are constantly wiping down their equipment and combing their hair! It is a shame that there is so much poverty in a country that has so much potential for wealth. The disorder seems to occur in the government. Locals know that there is much corruption happening. They lack order and direction. Simple things like sterilization of dogs and felines, systems to rid of waste (they typically will burn anything to keep it off the street, if they even take that measure) really do not exist. It would be terribly difficult to change the way that these people are accustomed to living. Instead I think that the government would have to change the environment, opting for more environmentally friendly packaging and better social services. 

(Heads up: there are NOT a lot of white folks traveling here. At least I didn't see them. I saw perhaps 1-2 in the Hauz Khas, this was a little daunting going into Old Delhi and the market. At night, the women go home, really only men wander the streets. I did have a man grab my behind in the market as well as many lewd comments and glances, but I expected this.)

My London Review!

Hi everyone!
Thanks for taking the time to glance at my blog! Mike and I have safely arrived in Rishikesh after many days of traveling (London-Turkey-Delhi- now here!). We finally got a good night of sleep on the banks of the Ganges.

Internet is spotty here as expected but I am committed to getting out blog posts to keep family and friends updated!

We started off last week in the UK, where we stayed with my brother and his boyfriend in East London, close to the awesome Broadway Market. We walked many kilometers exploring the city. We saw great sites such as the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, St. Paul's Cathedral, Buckingham Palace, The Big Ben, The Greenwich Observatory (Where the prime meridian was set). London is a lovely place. I have to say it surpassed my expectations and what I did not realize was that London Proper is actually only about 1 square mile! The extension of London is huge! It would take you about 5 hours to walk from one end to the other, maybe more!

Walking through London Fields on my way to STRETCH! London.

I have three things that I look for in a city when gauging it as a potential place to spend some time: 1) Greenspace- London has plenty of this, in fact I think it has the most that I have ever seen! A favorite is Victoria Park and Regents Park.  2) Yoga- London has great yoga! I frequented STRETCH Broadway during my stay. I enjoyed the walk through London fields to get there and loved Adam's class. If you are in town, check it out! They have a great deal 25 pound for 10 days unlimited. 3) Culture- this is quite vague but, what are people wearing, listening to, where are they eating and chilling out? I loved all of the boutiques, eateries and cafes.  OVERALL, I could definitely call London home (my favorite areas where Greenwich, Victoria Park and Broadway area) and I feel extremely lucky to have family there so I can visit! Thanks Dave & Sonny!

A little stop, drop and arm-balance in front of St. Paul's Cathedral.

Where to grab a pint: The World's End
Where to eat: Indian- Brick Alley, can't lose. Gozleme on Broadway. Nando's chicken is also quite good!
Where to grab a coffee: Shoreditch Coffee or L'eau à La Bouche Delicatessen Broadway Market London
Day trip: Hampstead Court or Stonehenge (if you are seeking spirituality and energy go to Stonehenge. If you want a fright, go to Hampstead Court where Anne Boleyn's ghost is said to haunt.)
Best attraction: Tower Bridge and Tower of London
Culture: Tate Modern +++ it's free!
Shopping: Broadway Market on Saturday's. I scored a Barbour coat for 10 pound.


What are your favorite spots in London?