Hosting a "GREAT" Party

Throwing our annual Soppressata making party! Every January!

Mike and I came from party throwing families.  We've learned a lot and made a lot of observations about what can help to create a great gathering.  We were both taught that what you put out and offer for your guests is a direct reflection of how much you value the relationships.

This was a particularly hilarious night. Wooly Fair pre-party
where the guys decided to wear my yoga pants to the festival.

We absolutely love to host parties because we love the people that are in our lives and who will continue to come into our lives. There is nothing better than spending time with our friends and family. We love to share the laughter, memories and fun times with people. There is something incredibly healing about attending a good gathering. The afterglow of these events lasts for much longer than the event itself. I always wake up the next morning with a huge smile on my face and find myself laughing about some of the hilarious things that happened the evening before.

Tim Ferris, author of the Four Hour Work Week talks about having dinner with close friends at least once per week. This is a standard that I have adopted in my life for about three years now. Mike and I make an effort to reach out to some of our closest and most treasured friends even when we are tired and may not feel like it. Many say it is especially important in those times to reach outwards to the connections who, by doing nothing at all but being themselves, help bring you back to earth. This is a practice in grounding. It is not selfish because the hope is that you are reciprocating this for others. The point of friendship is to love eachother, nourish eachother, pour in to eachother and recieve eachother's gifts.



Our hopes in hosting a party is that everyone will have a refuge from their week and have a great time that brings them into the present moment.  Having fun and being supported by like minded individuals is a very quick way to encourage this in myself, so I assume it works for others as well.  I believe that fun games, intelligent conversation and great food are ingredients for a more highly evolved community.

Making paella for friends this summer!

It is incredible to see the connections that people make when the atmosphere is right. The bottom line is, that great gatherings remind us that we are not alone. We each have our unique experiences of our own lives and day to day living, but we can come together at any given time, setting most of that stuff aside to simply be with eachother.   Conversations lead to learning which grow the mind, laughing and dancing are healing to the soul, sharing meals together is an ancient tradition which bred community and fostered relationships. For me, hosting is really an opportunity where my given can go unspoken: I am taking the time to do something for you because I really care about you. I feel the same way when my friends and family have me over for an event or dinner. It warms my heart and my spirits to feel that radiating love!  

I realize that people have restrictions in being able to hold parties and host big events. I face many obstacles too, such as dropping a lot of money at Whole Foods, coming off an exhausting work week or just not feeling like being "on", the gatherings will generally take priority because I know we are all going to feel a lot better in the thick of it.  I talk a lot about self-care and though this may seem against self-care, if done in the right way, spending time with these people is actually very healing and grounding.  It can take the whole group to a new perspective of joy and community.

Soupy Party! Everyone got a stick!

If you can't throw a big event, ask your friends to come over for a glass of wine or an appetizer. Pick a game you can play together, ask stimulating questions ( I love Danielle LaPortes conversation starters) and be with the people- no distractions just connection.  Make it look however you want, just make sure you put a lot of love into it. That is really the only ingredient you need for success.

Although people may not realize the effort that Mike and I put in to hosting a party, I hope that they reap the benefits whether consciously or sub-consciously (if my friends are reading this: it is because we really care about you and want you to have a GREAT time!)


Here are some of the recommendations that I have for hosting a "GREAT" healing party:

1. Guest list: Everyone on your guest list should be a no brainer. They should lift your spirits when you are with them individually or in a group setting. There are times for throwing parties when you might not know people so well, but this isn't one of them. You want this to be an atmosphere of solutions focused, uplifting friends- who you know genuinely care and want to be there. 
2. Recipes: This is VERY important to me. We live a very organic and wellness focused lifestyle. OF COURSE when my friends come over I want to feed them nothing but the best, only the things that I would consume. I mean to cast no judgement, but don't spare the cost when you are treating your most beloved friends. Feed them the same caliber of ingredients that you would consume, whatever that may be.  I have to hold my breath at the register sometimes but I know that it is always worth it. I want to feed my friends a nourishing, high quality meal because I value them. I also like to write out recipe cards in front of the dishes so that people can take home ideas and know exactly what they are eating. 
• For example: I spent about $350 on food for a party of 20 people, I budgeted out ahead of time the price per head and the nutritional balance per head (carb/fat/protein ratio) that would leave guests feeling satisfied and nourished. Come up with a number that feels good. If you don't have the budget to throw a party this way, throw a pot luck and if your friends think like you do, they will bring food that they would also feed themselves. It's the law of attraction. 
3. Entertainment: This is really Mike's area of expertise and I love to learn how he does this! He comes up with the coolest games that I usually have not heard of. I like to involve finger paints and things that can get pretty messy. He has more feasible solutions that will leave people laughing hysterically but not dirty the house completely either. We play the paper bag game, spudknocker, team charades, drawing games, language games. We clear a room for space so that things don't get knocked around, create a killer playlist that will keep the vibe going for the evening and then introduce the games very lightly. If people are having great conversations we don't want to break them up. When you feel like the party is hitting the hump of people considering bed time, bring out the fun stuff! Generally it works and people are nearly peeing their pants laughing (myself included). 
4. Atmosphere: This is also Mikes area of expertise, he is a self-proclaimed college party expert. Things to consider: Climate- is the temperature going to be alright for the evening? Airflow- how can you keep it from getting to hot or too cold? Noise- make sure you give the neighbors a heads up that you are throwing a party. Find a good level of sound for music to not overpower conversations but to also be noticeable that a killer track is playing. Space- feng shui! Set up your home in way which people can move with ease from food, to seating to party games. Make sure you have enough seating for at least 70% of the people, keeping some standing promotes conversations and mingling. Lighting- mood lighting is for real. You can gauge this throughout the night, but generally restaurant dim lighting is where it is at. Decor- Take the time to get some freshly cut flowers, light your more expensive candles and put out your best smelling hand soap. These small touches show people that you really do care about them and want them to have a great experience. 
5. Theme: I LOVE a good theme party. It isn't always neccessary but it can be a lot of fun. I always have a theme and the guests may not even realize it. Generally it helps me with menu planning. I pick a centerpiece dish and then everything else revolves around it. I will tend to stay to a particular ethnic theme for cooking because the flavors will not collide and compliment eachother quite well. Tie this into your beverage choices, what will pair well with the meals? If you don't know you can find it all on the internet. I love to look up wine pairings, beer pairings and liquor ideas when cooking for others. It gets me out of my usual routine and pushes me to try things that I haven't done in the kitchen before. 

I would love to hear your ideas for hosting great parties! Please share any ideas below! xoxo 

UN dinner.  Everyone made an ethnic recipe and used the microphone to announce their meals,
at our small table. It was hilarious. Excuse the photo quality, look at the smiles! 

Some people just have a gift of bringing the love with them wherever they go! CB that's you!
This photo was taken at her going away party hosted by our friends.
They knew how to throw a GREAT party.