What Breeds Creativity?

Be on a mission of thoughtful fun, positive impact and healing. 

Money doesn't breed creativity or inginuity, challenge does. 

I just signed up for the Permaculture Design Program through Oregon State University.  This is something that I have been wanting to do for a while, but put off out of laziness and fear. When my guy gave me the final OK that I needed to click enroll, I did!  It has taken a series of events and experiences to get me to this point where I realize the need and desire for change in our society. I have realized my gifts: helping things grow, observing and respecting the ways of nature & the desire to share the knowledge I obtain and gain.  This path has been challenging but it has been interesting and fulfilling.

My hope is to motivate you to use your creativity and let the journey be fun.  I know in my heart that if we band together and get creative, while we have fun, we can do more than just heal our wounds we can create a whole new sense of existence.

Here's the urgent news: Contrary to what BuzzFeed, Facebook and Instagram might lead you to believe, our planet is in an extreme state of vulnerability.

Here's the good news: We all have a part we can play in the salvation of our planet. Do you know what your gift and purpose to share with the world is?

Over the past 10 years I have been on a path of seeking out social justice and healing the environment.  I have spent many hours traveling and researching the cost of my choices and my lifestyle.  Having seen first-hand the abuse and destruction that companies and practices I previously supported have caused, I can't go back.   You choose in every moment which experience and affect you will have,  so please choose wisely :).

Here are a few baby steps that helped me stay balanced as I chose to embark on this path, because if not done carefully, it can be a slippery slope towards complete denial, anger, anxiety and depression or the worst, hands-up surrender.

1. Consider your purchases: Think about the systems and conveniences that you use in your life.  Go beyond the purchase and/or use to consider the impact of your choices on the world. This requires you to make an effort. Not a tedious or super time consuming thing, but type into your search engine and see where your products travel from, who is benefitting or being taken advantage of, its really easy to find. 
2. Make a choice: Things like Amazon Prime, SUVs and plastic single use water bottles might make your life easier in the moment, but what are you really supporting with these choices? Think about the kind of business practices you want to be supporting. Your dollar is your vote! Do you want to support companies that enslave their employees like WalMart? Do you want to be responsible for the deaths of Indian farmers by holding stock in Monsanto and it's many subsidiaries?  Until you know the full story behind your choices, you could be contributing to the breaking down of humanity and destruction of our earth. 
3. Get creative:  Unless you are an artistic spirit, you probably only get creative when you have to.  This tends to happen when you face a challenge.  What is it going to take for you to believe and feel that we are facing immense challenge?  Creativity is fun and it is what evolved us to the current place where we reside. Many of us live in the convenience of not having to be creative.  Fortunately even if you are having a difficult time with this, the challenge will help you to grow out of your comfort zone. There are thousands of resources out there on how to be resourceful, DIY and creating a sustainable non-toxic homestead.  
4. Be realistic: Pick three do-able things for you to change, do it and then only IF YOU WANT TO, move on to more. I am not asking you to go crazy. You can't possibly consider every single thing that you do every single day without great effort and practice. BUT YOU CAN start to make small choices. 
5. Be proud: You are an informed consumer, a responsible human and compassionate leader.   You won't get the same praise you would for a new BMW, Louis Vuitton or 3000 square foot home, but those days are about to change! As we wake up one another to who we really are, and what's really important, your light will shine bright.  You are unique and you are responsible for yourself and for the planet in your own way. You will choose the things that rise to the top of your list and you will take action there.   If we can all do this in some way, we will change the world. 

"You're Drinking the Blood of my People"

An abbreviated version of a story told by Dr. Vandana Shiva author of Water Wars: Privatization, Pollution and Profit

In Kerala, India, Coca-Cola was extracting millions of gallons of groundwater.  Water levels fell at rates of up to 500 feet below the surface of the earth.  Locals suffered from horrible man-made water shortages. Traditional drinking-water sources, ponds, water tanks, waterways and canals were polluted with the sludge that is left as a result of soft-drink manufacturing.  At this particular plant locals said that Coca-Cola was extracting up to 1.5 million liters per day.  The soil became arid and depleted, affecting crops, dehydrating humans and their livestock.   The Coca-Cola company was draining the community of it's vitality.  

As the local communities realized what was happening they took action. People rallied and protested at the headquarters.  Some reached out to local government agencies and sought to get the actions of Coca-Cola exposed to the world. The community knew that they needed help.  

Dr. Shiva was asked to join the community and stand with them in solidarity.  She explains the sight as this:  there were groups of women protesting in front of the plant and hundreds of police with their weapons.   Unnecessary precautions speak volumes to these gravity of these situations.  It was a scene that exposed the reality of the evils that are occurring as a result of corporate driven greed.  Dr. Shiva asked what message the community wanted to send to the world.  The female leader of the group replied with this: 

"When you drink coca-cola, you drink the blood of my people." 

After many efforts and tragic endings resulting from the operations, the local government performed an investigation. The company failed to comply with the request for details and the license was cancelled. Coca-Cola even attempted to bribe the assembly president A. Krishnan, with 300 million rupees, unsuccessfully.  Coca-Cola was kicked out of Kerala.  Now investigations are taking place around the country as governments that aren't so easily corrupted anymore, choose to stand for their people. Coca-Cola is moving out of Varanasi and other localities by force.

THIS is not an isolated event. Here the water was being extracted for soda, but it happens every day for manufacturing processes that require water. 

A woman from rural South India who is effected by water extraction. 

I spend most of my time at yoga and fitness studios and I find it very ironic when I see people drinking from one-time use plastic water bottles.  They are caring for themselves and yet very unaware of how their beverage is causing harm to others and our planet.  

Part of my mission is to educate people (in a loving way) about their impact on the world both at home and globally, as well as give them an opportunity to be the change. I am not smarter or kinder than anyone with a plastic water bottle.  It is just that I have sought out to witness first-hand the destruction that water privitization causes.  I would like to offer some of the information that I have found to you. 

I once drank bottled water.  I thought I was making the healthy option at the very strategically placed soda vending machines around campus.  It eventually stopped when I took the time to consider the impact of my bottles and heard of the water privitization that was occurring in Africa from Nestle waters.  I thought if I recycled it was enough. Turns out it's not. Even recycling doesn't get rid of the plastic waste that takes forever to break down on our planet fast enough to balance out this practice. 

Nestle, Coca-Cola & Pepsi-Co are just as bas as Monsanto if not worse.  At the 2005 World Economic Forum, Nestlé' received 29% of the vote as the 'world's least responsible company' - twice as many votes as the next on the list (Monsanto).  Nestle believes that water is not a right and that it should be sold.  Nestle claims that water as a fundamental right to all, is an extreme idea. 

Every day millions of gallons of water are extracted out of the ground domestically and abroad.  That water ends up at your gyms, schools and grocery stores for profit.  Bottled water costs on average $346 per year, per person; tap water: 48 cents per year, per person (Consumer Reports).   Where is all this money going and when is enough profit enough?

As a yogi, I believe that the convenience of a plastic water bottle could partially defeat the point of our practice.  In this practice we take the time to consider, very thoughtfully, the impact of our words, thoughts and actions.  Together, we should educate people on the true cost of bottled.  We have a duty as global citizens, to protect our resources and eachother.

At the head of the Ganges the water is clean and plentiful. By the time it reaches the Sea it is depleted and polluted. Check this article out from TIME Magaine.  

What can you do to make a difference in your community at home and abroad? 

1. Purchase a reusable water bottle and fill it. If you are worried about the quality of your water buy a filter (if you want to get rid of fluoride puchase a Berkey).  It takes time and effort but our planet and people are depending on your contributions. 
2. Find out where water is being extracted cheaply in your community and sold -with an exorbitant profit margin- back to you.  This doesn't just happen in third world nations, it is occurring in the USA in communities near you. The closest to me that is having a large negative impact is the Poland Springs facility in Fryeburg, Maine. You can see the legal battle the town is in with Nestle here.
3. Conserve your water. Do you really need to take a long hot shower? The days of over-consumption and excess seem to be coming to and end. We can see companies such as REI closing for Black Friday. Individuals are actively choosing to step away from the materialism and consumerism that big businesses are pushing on us. Less is more. 
4. Look at labels, these companies have many branches. These brands do more than just sell water as a commodity. When you purchase something from them, you are supporting these practices by default. 

Please consider your purchasing practices more closely. Ask, where does my dollar, my energy end up? I would like to dedicate this post to Professor Vernon Domingo who helped direct my endless curiosity into a purposeful mission. 






Want to learn more? Check out several documented cases of companies performing similar operations: 

• Nestle Waters in California during the worst recorded drought in history.
• Nestle Pure Life Water in Pakistan, a protype to take over the world's water.
• Nestle Pure Life in BC Canada, extracting during drought. Extracting for free and selling back to Canadians.
• Coca-Cola and Pepsi in India committing hydro-piracy.
• Water Privitization Conflicts around the world: India, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Nigeria, Mexico, Malaysia, Australia, and the Philippines. They’ve now spread to Canada, England, Turkey, Colombia, Guatemala, Morocco, New Zealand, South Africa, El Salvador, and even China.
• Video: Nestle taking water from California during the drought. 
• Video: Dr. Shiva speaking about Water Wars  

‘Nestlé is the global leader in the exploitation of water across the globe. It has 67 bottling factories and sells in more than 130 countries. In Pakistan, Nestlé invented a “blue-print factory” that could be used to create new factories anywhere in the world. Pakistan was chosen as the model because it is the only country in the region that has an unregulated groundwater sector, meaning that anyone can simply dig a hole and extract as much water as they want for free.  'Pure Life' brand water has been produced in Pakistan, Asia, Africa and South America and is marketed as “capturing nature in its purest form”. In short, Nestlé now owns and distributes “nature” on every continent.’

 (New Internationalist) 

Hosting a "GREAT" Party

Throwing our annual Soppressata making party! Every January!

Mike and I came from party throwing families.  We've learned a lot and made a lot of observations about what can help to create a great gathering.  We were both taught that what you put out and offer for your guests is a direct reflection of how much you value the relationships.

This was a particularly hilarious night. Wooly Fair pre-party
where the guys decided to wear my yoga pants to the festival.

We absolutely love to host parties because we love the people that are in our lives and who will continue to come into our lives. There is nothing better than spending time with our friends and family. We love to share the laughter, memories and fun times with people. There is something incredibly healing about attending a good gathering. The afterglow of these events lasts for much longer than the event itself. I always wake up the next morning with a huge smile on my face and find myself laughing about some of the hilarious things that happened the evening before.

Tim Ferris, author of the Four Hour Work Week talks about having dinner with close friends at least once per week. This is a standard that I have adopted in my life for about three years now. Mike and I make an effort to reach out to some of our closest and most treasured friends even when we are tired and may not feel like it. Many say it is especially important in those times to reach outwards to the connections who, by doing nothing at all but being themselves, help bring you back to earth. This is a practice in grounding. It is not selfish because the hope is that you are reciprocating this for others. The point of friendship is to love eachother, nourish eachother, pour in to eachother and recieve eachother's gifts.



Our hopes in hosting a party is that everyone will have a refuge from their week and have a great time that brings them into the present moment.  Having fun and being supported by like minded individuals is a very quick way to encourage this in myself, so I assume it works for others as well.  I believe that fun games, intelligent conversation and great food are ingredients for a more highly evolved community.

Making paella for friends this summer!

It is incredible to see the connections that people make when the atmosphere is right. The bottom line is, that great gatherings remind us that we are not alone. We each have our unique experiences of our own lives and day to day living, but we can come together at any given time, setting most of that stuff aside to simply be with eachother.   Conversations lead to learning which grow the mind, laughing and dancing are healing to the soul, sharing meals together is an ancient tradition which bred community and fostered relationships. For me, hosting is really an opportunity where my given can go unspoken: I am taking the time to do something for you because I really care about you. I feel the same way when my friends and family have me over for an event or dinner. It warms my heart and my spirits to feel that radiating love!  

I realize that people have restrictions in being able to hold parties and host big events. I face many obstacles too, such as dropping a lot of money at Whole Foods, coming off an exhausting work week or just not feeling like being "on", the gatherings will generally take priority because I know we are all going to feel a lot better in the thick of it.  I talk a lot about self-care and though this may seem against self-care, if done in the right way, spending time with these people is actually very healing and grounding.  It can take the whole group to a new perspective of joy and community.

Soupy Party! Everyone got a stick!

If you can't throw a big event, ask your friends to come over for a glass of wine or an appetizer. Pick a game you can play together, ask stimulating questions ( I love Danielle LaPortes conversation starters) and be with the people- no distractions just connection.  Make it look however you want, just make sure you put a lot of love into it. That is really the only ingredient you need for success.

Although people may not realize the effort that Mike and I put in to hosting a party, I hope that they reap the benefits whether consciously or sub-consciously (if my friends are reading this: it is because we really care about you and want you to have a GREAT time!)


Here are some of the recommendations that I have for hosting a "GREAT" healing party:

1. Guest list: Everyone on your guest list should be a no brainer. They should lift your spirits when you are with them individually or in a group setting. There are times for throwing parties when you might not know people so well, but this isn't one of them. You want this to be an atmosphere of solutions focused, uplifting friends- who you know genuinely care and want to be there. 
2. Recipes: This is VERY important to me. We live a very organic and wellness focused lifestyle. OF COURSE when my friends come over I want to feed them nothing but the best, only the things that I would consume. I mean to cast no judgement, but don't spare the cost when you are treating your most beloved friends. Feed them the same caliber of ingredients that you would consume, whatever that may be.  I have to hold my breath at the register sometimes but I know that it is always worth it. I want to feed my friends a nourishing, high quality meal because I value them. I also like to write out recipe cards in front of the dishes so that people can take home ideas and know exactly what they are eating. 
• For example: I spent about $350 on food for a party of 20 people, I budgeted out ahead of time the price per head and the nutritional balance per head (carb/fat/protein ratio) that would leave guests feeling satisfied and nourished. Come up with a number that feels good. If you don't have the budget to throw a party this way, throw a pot luck and if your friends think like you do, they will bring food that they would also feed themselves. It's the law of attraction. 
3. Entertainment: This is really Mike's area of expertise and I love to learn how he does this! He comes up with the coolest games that I usually have not heard of. I like to involve finger paints and things that can get pretty messy. He has more feasible solutions that will leave people laughing hysterically but not dirty the house completely either. We play the paper bag game, spudknocker, team charades, drawing games, language games. We clear a room for space so that things don't get knocked around, create a killer playlist that will keep the vibe going for the evening and then introduce the games very lightly. If people are having great conversations we don't want to break them up. When you feel like the party is hitting the hump of people considering bed time, bring out the fun stuff! Generally it works and people are nearly peeing their pants laughing (myself included). 
4. Atmosphere: This is also Mikes area of expertise, he is a self-proclaimed college party expert. Things to consider: Climate- is the temperature going to be alright for the evening? Airflow- how can you keep it from getting to hot or too cold? Noise- make sure you give the neighbors a heads up that you are throwing a party. Find a good level of sound for music to not overpower conversations but to also be noticeable that a killer track is playing. Space- feng shui! Set up your home in way which people can move with ease from food, to seating to party games. Make sure you have enough seating for at least 70% of the people, keeping some standing promotes conversations and mingling. Lighting- mood lighting is for real. You can gauge this throughout the night, but generally restaurant dim lighting is where it is at. Decor- Take the time to get some freshly cut flowers, light your more expensive candles and put out your best smelling hand soap. These small touches show people that you really do care about them and want them to have a great experience. 
5. Theme: I LOVE a good theme party. It isn't always neccessary but it can be a lot of fun. I always have a theme and the guests may not even realize it. Generally it helps me with menu planning. I pick a centerpiece dish and then everything else revolves around it. I will tend to stay to a particular ethnic theme for cooking because the flavors will not collide and compliment eachother quite well. Tie this into your beverage choices, what will pair well with the meals? If you don't know you can find it all on the internet. I love to look up wine pairings, beer pairings and liquor ideas when cooking for others. It gets me out of my usual routine and pushes me to try things that I haven't done in the kitchen before. 

I would love to hear your ideas for hosting great parties! Please share any ideas below! xoxo 

UN dinner.  Everyone made an ethnic recipe and used the microphone to announce their meals,
at our small table. It was hilarious. Excuse the photo quality, look at the smiles! 

Some people just have a gift of bringing the love with them wherever they go! CB that's you!
This photo was taken at her going away party hosted by our friends.
They knew how to throw a GREAT party.  

Seeds of Life

The life of a seed reassures me that nothing in this world is as it seems.  I am writing this piece because of the overwhelming amount of questions I am receiving about seed saving, the work that I am doing and how to get involved on an individual basis.

I'm a proud seed!

Here is what I have come to realize for myself:  We have become so disconnected to the very things that allowed us to grow in the first place.  Seeds are small and for at least the past century have been on a downward spiral of neglect and being taken for granted.  This is a very big problem because for thousands of years before this, ancient cultures built traditions based off of growing seasons and seed saving.  Seed was the most fundamental source of life.  It was also a basic right to save, grow and harvest from the bounty of seed. 

Since ancient times, seeds were one of the most sacred commodities of mankind.  Seeds ensured the nourishment and survival of humans.  We are beginning to re-realize the very special connection that we have to seed and to nature which faces us with reality: sadly the lack of understanding we have in our food system has caused a lot of confusion for society as a whole. 

From one seed comes thousands of generations of life, nourishment, variety, resiliancy and teachings. The magic of the seed is the knowledge it passes from one generation to the next.

Imagine if we were so grateful for our food that we threw celebrations in honor of our harvests again? We owe A TON of gratitude for the teachings and wisdom that the earth has provided for us.  Seed is not a commodity, it is a selfless and limitless gift which intends to be spread and shared.

Are we seeds?

I believe my teacher Vandana Shiva, we are indeed seed.  We are all seeds that have come to where we are from sacred knowledge that has been passed on from the beginning.  This is something that can not be exactly explained by science.  Every seed contains possibility of life for many future generations.  As humans WE contain seeds (call them eggs if you want) and we are possibility of life for many future generations!  Just as knowledge is stored in plant DNA I believe it is passed in all forms of DNA.  Nature is always evolving and adapting.  Perhaps we should be paying closer attention to our own stories and become more aware of how we have evolved and adpated from our past generations, it would probably teach us quite a bit. Check out Vandana Shiva if you are interested in learning more about this concept, or ask any elder in your community who used to farm how it was different! I think you would be surprised. I am learning so much from elderly farmers in our community.

Seed can teach us many things about life, purpose and growth.  What is the miracle of life?  What creates resiliancy and desire to thrive?  These largely unanswered questions are held in the magic of seed.  We must be more comfortable and satisfied in not having all the answers, but being grateful that the possibility exists.  The seed has inherent knowledge which many scientists are working very hard to understand and as a result, we might be making some mistakes that are possibily disobeying the laws of nature.  The miracles of nature are ever changing and evolving, this is something that is at the moment out of our ability to comprehend and that is actually VERY ok.

Food for thought: When we ask genetic engineers where they get the seed to create GMO crops, they will never tell you where they got the seed they spliced to begin with. They did not create life, they altered it. Is there any precautionary principle, is there anything sacred anymore?

If you also believe that we are all seeds then the following may be true: Our children are divine and more evolved versions of us. 

If we are all seeds, wouldn't that mean that our offspring would be regarded as having our genetic and spirtual knowledge passed on, remembered and possibly in a higher form?  What if we could recognize our children as our teachers, so we could more closely connect to the ways we are meant to love, live and survive? I ask these questions because I believe it is a possible reality for us in the future. When we can surrender to greater knowledge than our own and trust in the ways of nature that have over and over again proved that Life is divine and will prevail, then we will move to a state of enlightenement as a race. 

Why should we follow the cycle that nature has drawn for us?

Quite simply because: nature always wins.

It is the tiny seed that falls into the crack and finds the will to grow which will break down the largest stone.  In our society we see nature win back all the time- in abandoned homes, vacant lots and patios which won't stop sprouting little signs of life. In the end, the cycle of nature always prevails, we are not exempt!

Live in harmony with your planet and she will love you back.  As idealistic as the statement sounds, if we could go back to the most basic of our human needs, the earth has provided all that we could ever need to survive.

Spend time outside. What do you really see around you?

Here are three things that I encourage you to do as a holder of possibility of life for many generations to come: 

1. Save a variety of seed. This is not a difficult thing to do. Could you find one plant that you particularly enjoy and commit to saving seed and creating a tradition around it? Take your family to the garden center, pick out an organic local variety, grow it at home and harvest the seeds (you can find all sorts of techniques online specific to the plant you choose) and grow them again next year! With patience you will watch life evolve in front of your very own eyes! Get excited about being a guardian of life. 
2. Learn more about the food system. Food doesn't come from a truck, a bag or a can. Learn where the things that end up on your plate came from. Wouldn't it be a beautiful day to purchase things that had stories rather than simply contents? Who grew your food? What is their story? Why are they doing it? When you do this with food, start to do it with other things such as your clothing, home goods etc. You will feel much better about purchases that you make! 
3. Spend more time in nature. Even if you don't believe in organic, non-gmo or even healthy dieting. No one can deny that spending time outside is heavenly. Take a walk in the woods, go for a hike, get in the water. Pay a little closer attention to what you see. Nature is not novelty, it is life. What can you gather from your experiences outside? Perhaps it will evoke some deeper questions. 

Thanks for your time beautiful people! Love and light all day, all night. xoxo 

Stop working on it.

In my previous post I spoke about skirting around the person we want to be. I challenged myself and readers to step into that person and realize that it is who you already are.

A reminder in Outer Sunset San Francisco that
 every moment you can begin again.

I can't tell you how many times I hear people say they are working on something. I am sure that you have too. You might not only have heard it, may you have said it yourself (I have said it!). Countless times I claimed I was working on being a better listener, a better lover, a better friend... but they were empty unquantifiable promises.  How can the people that we love trust that we are being our best and giving the best of ourselves to them when all we say is that we will work on it? I am not here to shame or call anyone disingenuous, but I have trouble believing myself and others with these statements.

What I have come to understand about saying that I was going to work on something was that I didn't want to work on it at that moment.  I was making an assumption that some day I would, or someday it would magically happen and become easier.  It meant I  genuinely thought that this was the ideal way of being, but that I wanted to do this in the future, not RIGHT NOW because it wasn't convenient and I didn't know how.  Saying that I was working on it was the lazy band-aid solution that would put my mind, as well as anyone else that I had let down- at ease... at least until the next time that it happened.

Wanting to work on something and actually doing it are very different realities.  Identifying desire to work on something implies that you are not already suited for it.  It suggests that there is work that has to be done before you can name yourself a great title.

I remember from my time working at a progressive company, one of the things that we learned in our communication series was to stop diminishing our power. We learned just how much power we were taking away from ourselves every time that we said we were "working" on something.  By saying we weren't already capabale of being great at all of these things meant that we didn't actually know who we were capable of being.

Since that day in 2009, nearly every single time that I have had a difficult time communicating with someone or felt that I had let someone down, I rememebered that it was a choice. Who am I going to choose to be in that moment? This requires great patience, understanding and compassion with yourself.  Self-awareness and ability to recognize and admit your shortcomings is vital to the process.

I now find myself sharing this lesson with people that trust me, echoing the great words of my teachers: you already are a great _____.

1. How to discover that you are already that better _________!
The fact that you are able to identify what it would mean to be a better ______ means that you are capable of choosing it. You already have all the pieces to the puzzle, now you just have to put it together. It feels weird and vulnerable because it requires you to bring your head and your heart together to create the communication and relationship that you know is possible.

Example: You are having an argument with your partner. You flex your self-awareness muscle and recognize the behavioral patterns that you are displaying: defensiveness, wanting to be right, shaming the other until they surrender into your power. Stop right here! Take a deep breath and decide what outcome you would like to see from the relationship, NOT THE INTERACTION.  

This is a crucial part to being the best _______.  In the moment you may choose wrong, but you have the ability to stop, apologize for not choosing the better option in the moment and recommit.  Here is how the dialogue might sound in the middle of the confrontation: Honey, I'm sorry. I realize that I have been fighting you out of wanting to be right. I am committed to making this relationship work for both of us and I want to treat you with the love that both you and I deserve. I still believe that I am right, but I am willing to put that aside for the sake of you and our relationship. I love you.

Hopefully that sounds pretty clear. If it doesn't that's okay, create your own dialogue but remember what you want at the end of the day for everyone.

2. Make the choice in the moment! 
Not everything you are "working" on is evident to the people around you. We all have internal dialogue and notice behaviors that we like or dislike. When we have the awareness to see that we are not being fully present with others or that we have a continual habit that we see holding us back, it is your personal responsibility to catch it.

3. Ask someone to hold you accountable. 
Accountability is huge, it is often the difference. See people spending lots of money on life coaches and therapists? It's for good reason! Most of us need that push and accountability to access our full potential.

Imagine what it would be like if we could hold ourselves accountable just as we hold others accountable. What is it that allows us to treat ourselves with no integrity and lack of commitment sometimes? Certain people are better at holding themselves accountable than others. These people often feel that mediocrity is worse than failure, I know because I am engaged to one of them! The accountability, standards of excellence and desire to thrive are remarkable, I believe these are behavioral traits of Olympic athletes and very successful business people. When you are in something you can't see the whole picture, this is when advice and observations from outsiders can truly elevate our awareness and strategy.

I am nowhere near that point in my life and I might not ever be, so instead I make observations of myself and ask loved ones and dear friends to call me out on bullshit when I am not doing what I said I was going to do! Even better, when I say I am going to work on it, they say "No- be it right now". Like that! It is an instant switch, from not listening to a great listener... simply by doing it!

4. Forgive yourself often. 
This is where "working on it" gets mixed up. If you focus on your ability to be, you will succeed most of the time, but this doesn't mean it is without err. If you didn't mess up from time to time you wouldn't be human. When you do make a mistake and you weren't listening or you were being self-serving, notice it choose to change and let go of it. You are still awesome it was just a momentary flub. It doesn't mean you are working on it, it means you messed up but you are great as ever. This mental switch was a huge gain for me, my self-confidence in being a better person sky rocketed and as a result my relationships were elevated.

What do you think?
What are you going to give up working on?

Learning to Dance Again

joy.play.fun.love.light.excitement.curiosity.wonder.possiblity.

What comes to mind when you read these words?  They sound good right?! Are these feelings a part of your life in this moment?

You could read hundreds of blogs and listen to hundreds of speakers talk about how to cultivate more joy in your life! I believe there is value in every approach to bringing more into your life, but I want to offer a side of something that might be more simplistic.

Generally I am a happy person, but complaining and being negative can at times be a lot easier. There is nothing like having someone to wallow with in a pile of shit when it's needed, but no one wants to live in a swamp! Those negative energies are going to keep pulling you into the muck and mire, to the point where you can't even identify what's coming from where anymore, but you already knew that.

The hope from me writing this is that you can identify who you are being for yourself and those around you. That you will strengthen your ability to realize where feelings are coming from and if you should act on them.  That you will have a more fluid and peaceful experience with yourself and others, most of the time!

I recently had a reminder of how easy it is to bring joy back in for others. I simply chose it.

What happened?
Upon a recent trip to the Cape I met an 80-year-old man in Falmouth. We started chatting with him at a cafe and it led to a Samba lesson.  Dan says that the key to longevity is fun and levity (something that we all inherently know and feel, yet all too often ignore because the demands of society don't typically celebrate them). "Everyone else my age looks crumply and gangly... that would have been me too if I hadn't started dancing 20 years ago!" Stress cripples us and if we don't make an effort to counter it, we are victims of our own demise. I want to be clear that I don't think productivity is a bad thing, but when it rules your life... re-evaluation is needed.

On the same day as the Cape trip we ended up at my parents house in Massachusetts for dinner. My sister was coming over with her boyfriend, my mom & step-father, two friends, fiance and little brother were all there. We were chatting and occassionally checking our iPhones- but it wasn't as fun as childhood family gatherings were from what I could recollect. Particularly during the holidays where childhood memories were very fond, I tend to really resist the idea of growing up. We talked about having more fun, what does work/life balance really mean? It is the never-ending question. One thing was for certain, at that moment we were craving more FUN.

What did we decide to do? 
Dance. We plugged in the music, turned up the bass and moved all the furniture out of the dining room. We danced for a few hours, sweating, laughing and really enjoying our time together.

My little brother who loves his video games and rarely can be pulled away from devices, was overcome with excitment to bounce around with us! He loves to play with his big sisters and dance with mom! This is a side that he rarely experiences with so many loved ones at one time. It was sheer joy! My step-dad even came in to join! He isn't really a dancer (sorry Fil!) but it was contagious joy and excitement for the whole family. A bonding experience in which words weren't necessary. At the end of the dance party my mom said to me: "I haven't had that much fun in at least two years." For me this was the most wonderful thing to hear. My mom works incredibly hard at her job and she does well for herself. I worry though about my parents and them not taking enough time to enjoy their lives. It seems for this age group "work-ethic" is well-defined and deeply engrained in their minds.

It wasn't me who created all this fun for my family, but I didn't stop it from happening.  Being more open and light-hearted with situations that I generally have an agenda in (i.e. convicing my mom why she needs more organic, my sister why she needs to update her LinkedIn, etc.) allowed the event to occur.

The crazy thing that is so true for most of us is: when we are invested in people the most, such as our families we tend to be the most rigid and persistent. When the stakes aren't so high, with strangers, friends etc. we generally listen more and push less.

Having fun with people I care about most!

Who have I committed to being?
FUN.
I have a tendency to talk about serious issues that concern us as global citizens. Perhaps you have heard me talk about something that alarmed you. I have witnessed my provocation cause anxiety and anger.  I still believe in all of these things and I think it is important to inform people who are ready to hear it. However, instead of bombarding stressed and anxious people with my concerns as an informed citizen, I have decided I am simply going to create a space of levity for them to communicate with me in.

Realize when you have a gift.
Deeply sensitive people notice subtle behavioral and energetic shifts.  Feedback is collected whether it is invited or not.  This magnetism could drag you down the path of exhaustion if you try to heed to its command absorbing everyone elses problems. You already know what I am about to tell you, but begin to re-realize that you can help guide the situation into a space of possibility.

Begin by drawing a bubble. Understand that you choose what comes in and what goes out. You have your beliefs and others have theirs, it doesn't mean these beliefs dictate your sentiments for someone per-say.

Disarm yourself. If someone has beliefs which challenge yours, decide what outcome you want from the communication. Do you come from abundance or deficit?  Envision the ineraction that you want with this person and see what is possible in the moment for the relationship.

Easy does it. 
I have been the perpetrator of "too much fun" and I have used it as my excuse and escape mechanism. Fun has been the reason for me not pushing hard enough, or so I told myself.  I wouldn't go after the next step in my career or I would turn down a growth opportunity because I didn't think it would be fun. The reality of this was that I was afraid. I was afraid that if I took on a new challenge it would take up more time, more brain power and leave less for me to enjoy. I was afraid I would fail.  My motto in life was and still is "if we aren't having fun, what's the point?"

What can we all do?
Wake up to how you feel. Fun and play is an integral part of the human existence. Make sure that you have a healthy relationship with fun. Just like anything else, too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

With that being said: 

1. Small step: Have a dance party next time that you have a family gathering. Do you have the guts to strut your stuff in front of people who care about you? Talk about an exercise in overcoming fear! Do it!  Feel how good it feels and remember the feeling, bring more into your life.

2. Medium Step: Put your personal beliefs aside. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to see the same way that they do. Can you see beyond the surface? Are you able to keep your belief pushing at home for a day? Show your parents and your siblings how much you care by actively listening, practicing non-judgement and feeling empathetic for their unique situation. Next time your ___ makes a comment about__ _ that gets you going, take a deep breath, listen, process and then respond if it is even necessary. It isn't your duty to change hearts or minds, it is only to be loving. 

3. Big Step: Commit to who you want to be. Generally we all want to be LOVED. Doesn't it feel so good to make someone laugh or smile? Why are we skirting around the person that we want to be? Does it feel too big, too impossible to be a beacon of happiness? Reactivity, judgement and anger are all emotions that hold us back and serve as excuses for not doing our highest good. Step into who you really are, that is the person you know you want to be! 

Dancing with friends! Bachata Night

Xoxox
Liz

From the Intent to Action.

Recently I took on a role working for Citizens for GMO labeling.  This has brought me the closest to politics and true activism that I have ever been.  For a long time I avoided becoming an activist even though the missions and dreams inspired me.  The issue was that being a very sensitive person, I felt that there was too much hatred on the front lines and thought I wouldn't be able to handle it.  I know by now that I am not really a fighter.  Aggressive conflict feels uncomfortable and unnatural to me. I have learned that being a better listener, more self-aware, deeply empathetic and compassionate, it really mitigates the amount of aggressive conflict that I have to deal with.

My yoga practice is a vital part of my self-care to this day. I
 take time daily for myself to connect, meditate and imagine.

I will commend the many great fighters who have made change. There are certainly times when it may be neccessary to fight.  At this moment however, it seems that there is a grand shift occurring in the world around us; many new-agey types call this shift the "New Paradigm".  What does the New Paradigm actually mean?  My understanding of the New Paradigm: Our old ways of being are unsustainable and not delivering the results we deeply desire (to be seen, heard, felt and to give and receive love). It's time to give the old ways to boot and wake up to who we really are and what world we really want for all living beings and creatures.

At our first ever training for CFGL. 

When I first started exploring the idea of accepting this role, I thought the only way to win was to be aggressive and join in the hatred against the many corporations that run our world. I have known activists who are ugly with hate, who have become outraged in violent ways when they don't accomplish their mission and burn themselves out by being ineffective. This hatred was not helping me accomplish the dream, to contribute in revealing the more loving world that does exist in all of us. What shifted my heart were the people involved. My organization is one that is full of loving leaders who share the vision of the better world we see possible.

We are moving into the language of abundance and giving those who have done wrong the opportunity to shift to better business practices. Think of this example: You are fighting with a partner or a friend and the yelling back and forth results in exhaustion and resentment that doesn't usually end well. The shift seems to occur when one or both decide to step back, take a breath and realize the commitment to nurturing the relationship - where the desired results live.

Everywhere you look folks are commenting about the change occurring. Activists and movements are shifting away from conflict and more towards solutions—it can't always be us vs. a corrupt corporation, us vs. evil empires, us vs. dastardly politicians. It can all too easily become an obsession which will lead to burn out. The shift is towards the greatest good:  realizing humanity. At the root of all these evils there are men and women who make decisions based off of their own experiences. When we re-humanize all of the issues, it boils down to very simple things. Where's the humanity of these decision makers and how can we bring it back, or take their ability to do harm away?

There are two possibilities that come to mind for me:

Situation 1: If these people realize their own humanity and role, they will want to move towards a better future. They will truly want to be the solution to the problems in which they have created or contributed. This takes an enormous amount of courage on their part to admit their wrongs and commit to moving forward in a way that serves humanity. It also requires a great deal of compassion on the activist. Can we forgive things we previously deemed unforgivable?

It begs of you to take a deeper look at yourself and where you want the energy of our world to go: abundance (love) or deficit (fear). How would you choose to contribute to the world, by celebrating their realization of humanity? or continuation of hatred? Your sentiment matters. Your friends, family, community and planet are affected by what you are putting out there.

Situation 2: If the parties that are plaguing the world have absolutely zero desire to realize a better existence, we must expose where the corruption/harm/evil lives. Evil hates the light, because it wants to hide in the dark. Our job is to take our big flashlight of humanity and shine it bright and clear on the truth.

Where are we at?
I haven't retreated from the good fight. I am just trying to be more effective. By choosing forgiveness and compassion for all people both my "enemies" and my friends, I experience less conflict in my life, less anxiety, less toxic thoughts. As a result, I’m so much happier!

We must explore the idea of non-duality here. None of us are good or bad, black or white, we are all cut from the same cloth. The way we manifest ourselves is with an unlimited amount of different expressions.

When we embrace the idea of non-duality, we can live in a place of serentity and joy. It is a long and arduous journey for some, but eventually we realize that everything and everyone has a "good" and a "bad". Most importantly we realize that we each have positive, negative and indifferent aspects which make you unique. We must dance with these realizations to work as best as we can to fulfill as much of our purpose as possible. When you accept this, you will find more patience and peace in dealing with the outside world and with yourself. When we act from a place of acceptance of all these things we are flexible and free.

Accept yourself as you are: positive, negative and all that's in between... but continue to develop yourself to the greatest good. This is possibly life's greatest paradox.

I've seen too much now to not act. My travels educate me time and time again.
You get to a point where you can't just sit back and watch anymore.  

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens
for the sound of the genuine in yourself.
It is the only true guide you will ever have.
And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life
spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls...
- Howard Thurman -

Leadership Part II

Once you have begun the practice of building self awareness and managing yourself, you begin to create the climate that is most suitable for leading others.

When you realize that leading others has nothing to do with your stardom, you become more successful in helping others.
 You have the awareness to identify where you are, what's ahead and what will bridge the gap. 

Moving from yourself to them:

What happens when you lead others? You have to be a constant student of communication. You study, explore and learn more about how to effectively communicate. Most communication is non-verbal and is traded through body language, facial expression and "energies" exchanged.  We now have to be hyper aware of what place we are coming from with everything we communicate. Be clear which place you are residing in: Abundance or Deficit. Your energy shapes the space for not only yourself, but everyone who is counting on you.

This is why the most important thing to ask yourself when leading others is: Who are you being in this moment?

What does standing in abundance look like? 
Draw this picture for yourself. Generally you feel open to possibility, forgiveness, change and self-expression. You are empathetic, compassionate, loving and unburdened. In abundance you find joy through helping others because you truly recognize that their success is shared success.

My friend being a great leader acting in abundance.

What are some characteristics of leading from Abundance (in no particular order)? 

1. Who's leading you? Being in the place of thinking you know it all is not only dangerous, but also impossible if you are leading yourself. Make sure that you have a circle of trusted mentors who can do the same for you, as you are doing for your people. They will offer valuable advice, see the bigger picture when you are suck and act as a sounding board as needed. You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
2. Active Listening- One of people's deepest desires is to be seen and to be heard. By doing this alone you are taking your leadership to high potential zone. With active listening, you are not waiting to chime in after each word that triggers your emotions. You are trying to sit in their experience, empathizing and being solutions focused. *Helpful tip: repeat back what you heard to make sure that you are understanding them fully! You might hear something different, or help them get clearer on what they are feeling.
3. Intention/Creating Space- Make your intention of the interaction known. You really want everyone to win, make it known you are their biggest cheerleader but that this may also require telling it how it is. 
4. 360 Vision- Practice clearly seeing where you and your group are at, where you want to be and identify Smart, Measurable, Attainable, Relative and Timely ways of getting there (SMART). 
5. Candor-Once your intention is set, you should be able to speak with candor. You can freely explore obstacles, pathways and solutions without threatening the parties involved. *This will only be successful if you are coming from a place of egolessness and abundance. 
6. Checking yourself- Bullshit and self-serving thoughts can set off radars from miles away. If you need to take the time before entering crucial conversations, then do it. The success of your team depends on them trusting you. It is imperative to be clear yourself before working with them. Get real with yourself and what the desired outcome is, why is this what we need to do? 
7. Blow your bubble-All that people have is their experience. This means they only have their experience of you.  You must trust yourself enough to create a safe space for them to give you feedback. Draw an imaginary bubble around yourself when entering crucial conversations, practice your deep breathing and stay grounded. You could put your hand on something, pay attention to where you are connected to the earth, etc. It is important to practice self-care in these moments, because if you go to the place of high emotion with them the results will typically not be ideal. 
8. Discernment-You must also be able to discern which feedback is valuable and which is coming from people who are not leading themselves. This is probably the hardest part of leadership. If you are leading, you are going to make mistakes, say things that trigger others and occassionally be a real embodiment of your primal instincts. Discernment is not to say you know better than anyone else, it just means that you really recognize how the material is affecting YOU and you are choosing if you want to let that energy contribute or detract. 
9. Investment-You are pouring yourself into your team. Make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons and that people are not taking advantage. If trust is there, gift your knowledge, your words and your thoughts with your team. This is why they are there with you, to be in relationship.
10. Concision- Communicate your point with as little room for interpretation or negative emotion as possible.  
11. Clarity- Be impeccable with your word, authentic and with great intention for all parties involved. Define and assign work to be done, including communicating with the boss and others about needs or expectations, planning, organizing, choosing people, and delegating. It's crucial!
12. Recruiting-Sometimes you are going to get lucky. You will choose who you allow on the team! Really look at who is striving, who is thriving and who is in between. Formulate the groups that will facilitiate growth. Don't be afraid to turn people away if you see that it is going to rob others of an enriching experience. It doesn't mean they are bad, it might mean they aren't ready. (This is a great time for your to practice your egoless leadership in giving feedback around the real reasons why it won't work for someone right now! Leave them in possibility.)

I highly recommend reading this book if leadership intrigues you. 

Leading others brings you into a new awareness of who we are being for eachother, creating space for others to thrive, be the best version of themselves and win! We are all responsible for leading others but depending on where we are at with leading ourselves, some will grow more quickly into the role.

xoxo

What I've Learned so Far About Leadership Pt. 1

If you are a natural leader, you might have realized by now that you rarely choose to be the leader, it just seems to happen. This can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you deal with it. I have had a lot of experiences to be a leader. Sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it is really challenging. Once I embraced my natural tendency to be a leader, I was really able to begin developing as a person.

Always be looking up, there is so much to learn and so much space to grow. 

After having taken groups abroad, led retreats locally, managed teams in many different forms: professionally, recreationally and in emergencies, I have made one very strong observation about being a leader.

The world needs more effective and egoless leaders. 

I believe that where we are stuck as a society is due largely to the fact that we don't have many effective and egoless leaders in the places where we need them.


What does being an effective and egoless leader mean?

You allow others to shine, take credit and succeed.  You trust, see the possibilites and believe in the general good nature of people. You give and create opportunities, setting people up for success to thrive because you believe in their goal and honestly never considered or gave a shit about glory. You are willing and look forward to partnering and collaborating with people. You constantly give and recieve valuable feedback. You admit when you don't fully show up, shortcome others and act out of fear.

Being a leader is tough, but if you love seeing people win, it is the most rewarding practice.

I wish to be very clear that being a natural leader doesn't make you more of a person on any hierarchical scale. In fact by being an effective leader you will allow yourself to be subjected to more criticism than most people will and it will be very difficult. This is a choice and a practice which can be developed or dissolved.

A great lesson that I was taught about leadership from my time at lululemon athletica: 

SUCCESS AS A LEADER ALWAYS COMES BACK TO WHO YOU ARE BEING.

Have you ever had a boss who always passed the buck to someone else? Who never listened to your feedback? Who had a short temper and a very obstacle focused attitude? You probably didn't feel good working for them and quickly developed the same habits of negativity, resentment which lead you to burn-out and hopefully you realizing you needed a change!

There is a very beautiful structure that many large organizations are using to define the practice of leadership. Here it is: 

The following is a combination of what I have 

learned from all of my experiences, 

some have been taught to me and some I have learned. 

The Foundation of Leadership 

Leading Self

In a way, we are really all responsible for leading ourselves. Leading self is the foundation of egoless leadership. Here you take personal responsibility, hold yourself accountable and create boundaries/values/commitments to who you choose to be. The leadership of self ebbs and flows, some days you feel particularly strong and sure of yourself, other days insecurity will force you to question yourself. 

To lead yourself you must be grounded. You are confident that you have value and purpose, but it never leads you to the belief that you have mastered anything. You have a desire to learn more, never declaring yourself as the expert (even when others percieve that you are). You don't settle for anything less than happiness and fulfillment in all aspects of your life. Here you create positive manifestations of success and wonderment. 

These qualities indicate you are leading yourself: 

1. You are aware of your ego. You know when you are taking things personally, you can discern between criticism from another persons ego, and feedback that is truly meant for you to succeed. You are aware of when your ego is driving you for good or for worse. 
2. You are a great communicator. Your words and actions align. You say what you mean from a place of authenticity. You generally don't let your anger or emotions get the best of you & when you do, you clean it up quickly. 
3. You take responsibility and own your mistakes. You are not afraid to make errors or fail. You realize that you pick yourself back up quickly, heal and keep moving forward. 
4. You always realize that you have a choice! You choose what you believe, where you are, what you do and WHO YOU ARE BEING. Opinions of others only matter to you if you decide that they do. 
5. You live in a place of opportunity. Obstacles exist but never stop you from moving forward. You are solutions focused and aways living in what is possible, not "I can't do that because...." 
6. You have integrity. You can count on yourself. You do what you say you will do when you say you will do it. You have built up a positive environment for yourself to live.
7. You are in touch with your body. You make time for self-care, you practice wellness, physically and mentally. 
8. You forgive yourself for the times when things get the better of you. You self-soothe, take time to let the negative emotions flow through you and then let them subside. You take the measures to love yourself. 
9. You have a vision. You aren't going to let life take you completely where everyone else is going. You trust your gut, set intentions and continually move in that direction. You never settle for mediocrity. 

Ask yourself honestly if any of these apply to you. Being a leader begs of you to take the deepest look at yourself and who you are being. When you have identified where you are not really practicing a part of this you get to decide how you proceed. 

I hope that this inspires you to begin leading yourself and committing to doing it every single day (if you are a true leader it will!).

The Importance of Our Work

These are heartbreaking times. Passage of the TPP, consideration of the DARK Act and the numerous additional let-downs from our legislature can lead us down a road of despair.

As activists it's okay to get frustrated, but I beg of you- don't react.

Personally, I wonder how can the people of this country be more interested in Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's new baby name than the depletion of healthy soil on our planet? Even with my beloved friends and family, I become upset when my observations don't propel them into action the way I wish it would.

There are a couple of things that I have learned from all of this and I would love to share them with you.

1. Anger accomplishes nothing other than making you feel worse.
Take the time to turn anger and frustration into empathy and understanding. Dig deeper to the human core of the issue, why are these people making decisions like this? Take our politicians off of the capital and look at them instead as a brother or sister who has let you down. Anger will fuel both of your fires to continue animosity, leaving no other solution than " death" for the opponent. Disappointment and empathy leave room for forgiveness and change. Give these folks- even your greatest enemy- the opportunity to be the good and relinquish them from their mistakes. The truth is that we have all made mistakes that in one point in time may have seemed unforgivable, but when we don't forgive the seed of poison grows into a tree of poison in your body that will diminish your capacity to feel anything but anger (which is only fear with a mask). Cut the negativity and be solutions focused.

2. Focus on the people closest and most like minded to you.
Why bother trying to convince people who aren't ready? Sometimes you have to step in closer to take a look away from the big picture so that you don't miss the magical connections and relationships happening right in front of you. What originally connects us may be a common cause, but what keeps us is love. It is a gift to be able to fInd people you can be authentic and truly yourself with, cherish that.

3. Don't lose sight of the small victories, in the end the results are up to you.
Trying to make the entire world a better place is a daunting task. Think about how different we all are and how differently we perceive the world around us. When we are able to positively impact one person around us, we both win. When we are positively impacted by someone, it works the same way.  We move with integrity and honesty and hope to influence through those means. You win, in the end you win because you are and were a good person. This is how we really change the world, through one person at a time.

4. It's ok to back off, take a break, even quit, but don't stop being you.
When you feel defeated, it is ok to let go for a while or even completely. The weight of the world is not your burden to carry. What is your responsibility is you. You know when your are living out your values and when you are not. By being you and living into your beliefs, you are elevating the world. That is enough and it is all that can be asked of you. Anything else is optional, don't worry about expectations or perceptions. We need to focus on ourselves as much as we focus on others, always coming from a place of compassion.

5. You are amazing.
The fact that you are aware of the issues and feel something about them is a gift. Don't lose that, but don't let it overwhelm you. Remember that you get to choose, because being sensitive can be a blessing or you could make it a curse.


In love & light,
Liz

Ghandi's memorial in Delhi, India. May we be a part of the peaceful resistance.