Self-Care Routines

Hi everyone!
I see a lot of people veering towards natural self-care products. Many folks have been asking me what vitamins, supplements and routines I use on a daily basis.

As we have just entered the winter,  I thought it was appropriate to share what I do- here are the top five things I couldn't leave the house without doing/wearing:


Vitamin D
Warm defluoridated water with lemon
Soapwalla deodorant
Activated Charcoal Toothpaste
Dr. Bronner's

Vitamin D: People are generally vitamin D deficient, because we don't spend enough time in the sun! I am not a doctor, but I can say that I have a noticeable shift in mood and energy when I take my vitamin D supplement in the morning. For a deeper information read here. I use Carlson Labs 2000 IU D3.

Warm defluoridated water with lemon: If you are unaware around the current research regarding fluoride, please look into it yourself. Here is a helpful general study from Harvard showing the fluoride lowers children's IQ. There is much more out there aside from this small study. We use a Berkey Water Filtration system for our drinking water. Arsenic, chlorine and fluoride are among a few of the treatments/waste products found in our regional water supply and most water filters (such as Brita, do not remove these toxins). Check your locality for information on your water.

The lemon is great for a gentle liver and lymph detox, it helps to move oxidants and free particles through the body and out of your system. Lemon water can balance your pH and it also acts as a laxative if you need help getting the bowels moving. I do not drink coffee or tea that often, so I boil up a pot of water with lemon and whatever herbs I've got around for the morning. Here are some great benefits of drinking warm water with lemon. Most importantly, it tastes very good!

Soapwalla Deodorant Cream: I love this stuff! I have to apply deodorant because I am moving all day. I know some people who don't wear any and apparently that works too!
If you need to wear D.O. for peace of mind, check this product out. I love how it smells, so if you want to wear D.O.  it is a great option. Made from all natural ingredients, read more reviews and the ingerdients in the link!

Activated Charcoal Toothpaste: 
I switched to toothpowder after using Tom's and JASON brand for years. I prefer the feeling of the toothpowder and find that it leaves my breath fresher and my teeth feeling much cleaner. The abrasiveness of the powder removes plaque but is gentle on the enamel. The brand that I use is inVitamin, there are many brands out there and recipes to make your own. I have tried a few toothpowders that do not contain charcoal and was also satisfied with them. Toothpowders containing Neem are especially nice. If you are looking to whiten your teeth though, go with the black stuff! Research for yourself and let me know what you find/think if you try it! Here is a great link for more great information on activated charcoal.

Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap: If the label isn't enough to woo you alone, the smells and lathering quality of Dr. Bronner's will get you.

What sold me? Dr. Bronner's philosophy " people would stop focusing on their religious and ethnic differences and find common ground, we would all be better off. We're all humans, and we all have to share this Spaceship Earth."

The history of the Dr. Bronner's Soap company is much more incredible than your ordinary soap story. Dr. Bronner lost his family to the Holocaust when he left for the United States upon seeing the Nazi's rising power, they refused to go with him. The story is tragic but inspiring. He has truly made a mark with his quirky soap brand.

The reason why it has a cult following? You can use this shit to clean just about anything. It is biodegradable and it actually works. You get the fresh clean feeling you want without the bad things that come with a bar of Irish Springs. Here is a wonderful article on Dr. Bronner's from Inc. magazine.

I would love to know what products you use/can't live without! 

Finding You.

 "The instinct for spirituality is hardwired in us. This is our fourth instinct, the one beyond the instincts for survival, power and sex. It is a genetically-based, physical instinct that has a metaphysical purpose. It is a natural hunger for supernatural sustenance. It propels us to find the meaning and transcend our mundane selves." - Arianna Huffington

We are spiritual beings. It is hard to deny that humans frequently ponder the questions of "Why are we here? What is our purpose? Is there something greater for us?" Perhaps these questions leave you feeling lost and unsure? If that is the case, you are not alone.  The solution for some is to suppress and ignore the insight all together. There are many who decide this is a much safer path for them. But whether they are aware or not, they are missing out on much, much more.

I think that YOU, however, are on a path to feel and see more.

We are a part and reflection of the source of our creation (that means whatever you believe it to be). We have a choice to explore our minds or to let our minds be influenced by external stimuli. When we elect to learn more, by exploring our minds and by practicing faith we rediscover that though we are small, we are mighty.  We re-learn that we are connected to everyone and everything, expressing our own choice and free will. 

Society lends that self-work and spirituality are "new-age" and spacey, there is much resistance to bringing it to forefront of conversation.  We see now that when we do not choose to honor and learn ourselves, we become very vulnerable physical world temptations. When we are out of touch with ourselves, we are out of touch with others. Being out of touch with ourselves and others leads to a power struggle. We see people seeking control by manipulating and betraying others, the needs for materials and the drive for self-gratification. This is a road full of detours that leads even further away from our core and nearer to great unhappiness, reactivity and confusion (the sense of all bad things happen to me in this world and the world is out to get me). 

Rather than fight the problem, let's live the solution. Consider the moments when you begin to feel your best down in your core. It might be times spent in nature, hiking, practicing yoga, running, stillness, silence, meditation, singing, laughing, making love or serving one another. How much time do you actually spend doing these things? If we know they make us feel so good, could we do more of it?  

When we become aware of ourselves we become aware of others. We realize that our friends, lovers, neighbors and enemies are the same as we are, spiritual beings going through the human experience. 

We re-realize that what matters most is compassion, empathy, and unconditional love. I say re-realize because when we are small children, we know these simple things are true. Compassion, empathy and unconditional love are divine way of being.

Somewhere along the way someone shouts at us not to touch that, don't do this and instill the onset of fear creation. As adults, we have created many self-defense mechanisms for dealing with uncertainty and pain. In turn, we disconnect from our purest, child-like -arguably- wisest selves.  

Here are 7 things you can do to mentally declutter and get clear. 

1. Embrace time. 

Learn to love the present moment and stop complaining that you don't have enough of it. Time is a gift, start treating it that way. 

2. Meditation. 

It may not be sitting on a cushion for 2 hours a day letting thoughts fly away, but it could be. If that doesn't work for you, go for a walk, slow down.  Let yourself daydream and imagine. 

3. Practice Self-Love. 

Even if you don't believe it yet, fake it. Tell yourself, you are special, you are enough and you have purpose. Let that be your guiding light in all moments, especially the moments of uncertainty. 

4. Love Others. 

Learn from your pets, learn from children, get closer to the unconditional love you used to know. Practice empathizing with people who cause you frustration and pain. Think about how much pain they are in,  how lost and confused they must be and it will certainly change your perspective on things. 

5. Practice Yoga. 

Yoga helps you to strengthen your awareness, first physically, and eventually mentally and spiritually. Yoga helps to discipline your mind, and it trains your nervous system so it’s easier for you to process spiritual energy.

6. Laugh and Cry Often.

Laughing and crying allow us to move stagnant energy throughout our bodies, they have a theraputic and transformative quality that enable us to purify, heal and remove blockages. They bring us to the present moment and allow us to more easily tap into spiritual energies.

7. The hardest one... Don't Fear Death.

Though we may not concsiously be aware of the daily implications of fear of dying, fear of dying is actually a fear of living. With living comes certain physical death. The spirit never dies, believe that. You are whole, good and clean and have no reason to fear the great next step. 

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” - Mark Twain

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Feeling frustrated?

I can get easily annoyed.

In the past I was certain that I was plagued by super senses. The ability to hear quiet noises that no one else can, taste flavors unnoticed by most and see in high-def. Noises, such as the upstairs tenants roomba perusing ALL DAY still really ticks me off sometimes!

While those around me would probably agree that I have more buttons to be pushed than most people, I thought that my annoyances were legitimate. They would actually take away from my ability to be present. What I have since discovered is how to choose, not to let them.  

It has taken far too many venting sessions and pissing off of people around me than it should have. People getting annoyed and frustrated at me for complaining about how I was feeling annoyed and frustrated. There are plenty of products and methods that I have tried to avoid a run in with my pet peeves (loud music, headphones, sleep masks).  I was never truly successful in tuning out what was setting me off. Through my loud music I would watch someone across the train smack their gum and convince myself that I heard it. The most trivial things could set me into reactivity.

When I started to allow these things to consume my energy and expel even more negativity, I could physically feel my blood start to heat up, my senses become super focused and turn to a fervent animal like state.

The biggest ah-ha moment was when I moved in with my boyfriend and all of his noises during allergy season (which we are once again upon right now). How could someone that I loved also be the source of so much frustration? The way I would treat him was simply put: mean.

I realized getting agitated was my choice.  I was lacking in a lot of empathy. I was being selfish.

In fact, in all of these scenarios with the woman chewing her gum on the subway, the poor boy with allergies in my math class, I was just being unempathetic and selfish. Unable to own my part in the encounter, before I was just the victim. Living with someone who was able to verbalize how I was making him feel, I realized, I was not only the recipient in these situations, I was also the giver. What was I giving off in all of these scenarios? Well, I don't know but it was certainly nothing I would want.

We have all been there. Mine may be a bit more extreme, but these feelings of frustration or even anger often happen when something feels out of your control, is an attack on your credibility or feels as though it is an obstacle to you- i.e. your co-worker took credit for your work, you are questioned about your validity, you are not chosen for the job you feel you were entitled to. This state of  emotion is part of what makes us human and more importantly-animals.

How can we opt for more choice? How can we make a concious decision of how we let our surroundings and happenings affect us?

Here are the things that I practice when I sense a game-changer:

1. Take a deep breath
2. Decide how I want to feel, own your part in the interaction, empathize. You are giving those around you energy too, what do you really feel they deserve?
3. Give what you want that person to recieve and feel the way you want to feel. You will :).

When we shift the focus off of how we instinctively/emotionally want to react, we can shift it towards how we want to feel.

We all have buttons that can be pushed, that are often paired with feelings of helplessness and frustration.
How do you deal with them?

Conversation Averted

We've all seen the images of the group of pre-teens sitting around in a group, everyone on their cell phone. I think we are beginning to see neck and wrist injury from the amount of use we put on our devices. What we don't see as much of anymore is people talking on the phone (unrelated to work). There is, at least, a huge generational divide between people that prefer to communicate verbally on the phone or those who prefer text and email.

Do you have a friend, or are you the friend, that always responds back to a voicemail via text? Have you ever seen your phone light up yet you decline to answer and let it ring straight through to VM? I have. 

What drives this decision? Communicating in real time means that I can not control the conversation. The birth of e-mail and text meant I now would have control and my own terms. I get to say exactly what I want to say, when I want to say it. Digital communication takes no more time than you want it to and you can decide even more so than a phonecall, whether the conversation will take place at all. 

It's an interesting thing, to be from the bridge generation. Once, I did not have the choice of communicating electronically. Now I have that option in every converstation I choose to initiate. It has become harder than ever for me to pick up the phone and have a conversation with people that I have predominantly created a relationship with via text and facebook message. 

There is a large amount of uncertainty in a face to face conversation or a phone call.  We do not have the ability to perfect our communication (so we think) or fix every word that we communicate before hitting send, we can't mull over or think of a correct response we must respond immediately. Speaking in person or on the phone does not allow us to define my persona as I want it to be, I have to be comfortable with whatever I am saying and how I am presenting myself in real time without the opportunity to perfect an image. 

We know now that the phonecall and face-to-face conversations are dying institutions. According to a Pew Institute survey performed in 2011, the number of text messages sent monthly in the U.S. had gone from 14 billion in 2000, to 188 billion in 2010. Americans between the ages of 18-29 send and receive an average of 88 text messages per day, compared to 17 phone calls.

A TIME mobility poll discovered that 32% of all respondents said they'd rather communicate by text than phone EVEN with people they knew very well. We aren't chit-chatting anymore. We just want to get down to business, all the time. The problem is that when the small talk is lost. Developmental psychologists have been studying the impact of texting on our youth when interpersonal skills have not fully developed. Missing out on the development of social skills and jumping right into promiscuous use of technology, we lack the ability to truly connect to others. Through having a true conversation with others, either face-to-face or over the telephone, we are able to learn how to have a conversation with ourselves. We gain the ability to reflect on what was said, think about and reason with eachother, and can then do that with ourselves. 

Think about all that gets lost in translation, there is absolutely no context when speaking electronically. Saying I'm sorry is as simple as hitting send. A simple joke can turn into a misinterpreted dig. We don't see people in their vulnerable place, having to tell someone how you feel. Face-to-face allows you to sit with them and share the experience of being uncomfortable and vulnerable- something that is all to relatable. When we communicate over the phone, same thing, the voice conveys the emotion in a very similar manner. Digital makes communication easy, but easy is not what we need. Particularly when learning social skills. We need to feel human emotion and allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable. These are the things that allow us to have strong relationships with ourselves and with others. When we miss out on feeling these emotions and sensations we miss a very vital part in social cue development.

I am not certain, but I would bet that most young people have an aversion to the face-to-face or phonecall conversations, and while adults are not so fearing, we can also become avoidany because it's just easier. We like to choose easy, being uncomfortable is in fact uncomfortable. Admitting we are wrong, asking for forgiveness or confessing a truth is never easy. The fact is that if we never allow ourselves to show this discomfort to others then the context of the message is never recieved and the issue is never truly resolved, it has merely been pushed aside and glossed over. 

Living life through facebook, twitter, text and any other channel of media appears so connected. Truth be told, you are the furthest thing from it.  When we are not sharing together in human emotion we are lonely. We are missing the  very thing that is most vital in creating relationships moving through emotion and learning it to handle conversations with ourselves, so that we are better able to hold them with others. 

Through text and Facebook you are hiding in plain sight, living a life in secret while everyone watches doing the same. 

A few interesting things to check out:

Texting ruins relationships:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-d-anderson/teen-texting-the-ruin-of-romance_b_3763576.html

Facebook can't replace face to face conversation: 

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/story/2012-04-29/facebook-face-to-face/54629816/1

Take a hike! Get out of here, go!

                                  The journey from our head to our heart is the longest road.

Does this look familiar?

The journey is even tougher if you live in the western hemisphere, where the ego prevails, insisting that not even "good" is enough. There was a time once, when we were very young, where most of us don't recall being unhappy, because we did have enough- and it probably didn't include internent access or a smartphone.

Simple human connection, a warm place to rest, food to eat and warmth were all you needed to survive. Our thoughts not fully developed yet, were very simple- can we trust? are we hungry? what do we phsyically feel? Yet we see that young children find a lot of joy as they begin to explore the world. Together these things carried us through our early years until that moment.

The moment when we realize our friends are having fun with their toys too, maybe even more because it looks like a pretty damn cool toy that we saw on that commercial.  Now, we need to have that toy too, plus the other 3 things you saw at the toy store. You have been told that you do not have enough by people that want to make a lot of money off of you. Not only does this go for the toy industry, but we all know that the female beauty industry would not even exist if this were not the case. Think about all the things that you do throughout the day in order to make your life better, is it working for you?

When you think about basic human needs, a lot of the discontent people (including myself) are not lacking in things that we need at least some money to buy- food, clothing, shelter. So why are we so depressed and jealous? The underlying factors here are driven by the unconscious desire to survive and thrive.  What our ego holds often looks like greed and materialism but what what's really going on there is the belief that we are not good enough. Only once we have achieved a certain level of status, accumulated wealth or materials, will we be worthy. Of what? I am not exactly sure, but these industries must know- because they have us chasing after it. 

Subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity, freedom- Max-Neef's definition of the fundamental human needs. In order to achieve balance and joy, a person must be experiencing all of these things. When we do not, we start to take the edge off by filling the void with something else. Companies know this and they hire psychologists to study the human mind finding our weaknesses and using that to advertise their products and services.  When we start edging, be it shopping (this is my go to), eating, drinking, over-exercising any sort of behavior that will create a temporary distraction you create a sense of joy that lasts momentarily, enough to give you the rush of wanting to do it again: addiction maybe bordering obsession.


We can do it! But it's a practice!  In many places around the world, where culture is not tainted by main stream media and basic human needs are met, (even if it is a tin sheet for a roof, one pair of shoes/shorts/tee and food to eat) are elated with joy every single day.  They are connected to the people around them in a deep, secure, affectionate, understanding, fun, wanted, needed way. Everyone has a unique role for which they are respected, even if the sphere is as small as a rural family. These people are out working with their hands amongst eachother  for survival and that is enough for them to consciously and subconsciously feel they are living a life of purpose. 

Have you ever participated in a multi-day isolated  group adventure? One where only bare essentials for survival were provided? If so, maybe you too, have experienced a glimmer of that feeling.

When this happens we are able to leave daily trivial worries behind and almost immediately share stories and pee in front of eachother as if we have always been a group. Out there, everyone is disconnected from the grid.  Despite the lack of internet and cable the groups are able to create some of the quickest/strongest connections ever made. How long the connection lasts doesn't really matter. You may walk away and never speak to those people again, leaving a fond memory like a disposable camera but something much more important has happened here: in this group you have established a role and identity for yourself, people know you- the singer, harmonica player, comedian, optimist, pessimist, cook, whatever AND it brings you great joy to share this with them for no reward.  In this group you have created a circle of trust, you will not be left behind and you would help a group member if help were needed. In this group you have discovered that human beings are hardwired for connection, weather realizing it or not a group dynamic quickly forms and rarely is there a clique. 

I would never expect that everyone would want to go on a group trek and find some purpose, but it helps to demonstrate how we can truly share our personas when we are in a safe space, feel needed and feel that you are vital part of the group. The trek is a fully encompassing example for me, because I have had that experience.  Maybe you have felt it by other means? 

There are small steps that we can take to allow ourselves to feel deeper connection and let go of the mind so you can live from your heart.  But you need to discover what works for you. Your ego is always going to tell you to do more, be better, win, gain, go! Your heart is witness to the fact, you are indeed already enough. You are a unique, imperfectly perfect, human of purpose and divinity no matter what material possessions indicate. How can you start to create space for yourself to believe that as true? How can you find others to support you who know that this is true for you? 

I wish I could take a trek once a month or more, making it a huge part of my life because I love it so much. Hiking is great ya, but I love how well I get to know these people in such a short amount of time. Because that is not practical, on a daily basis it is my yoga teaching practice- being honest, open and there for my friends- fellow teachers - yogis. 

Don't suffer from life- paralysis.

"Life-paralysis refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It’s also all of the dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others." 
- Brené Brown in "The Gifts of Imperfection" 

This morning I had a brief and meaningful conversation with one of my students. I have noticed lately mostly middle-aged adults talking about their dreams, sadly some say that their lives have not turned out how they had imagined and that this was a large source of anxiety and depression. Some spoke about feeling as if they were in a cycle, at times complacent with their current state, at other times extremely frustrated and unable to create change. 

After listening in for a moment, one of the students asked me what my dream was. She wanted to see if I was headed in the direction of my dreams and hear that it is actually possible to live the life of your dreams. I do not have all the answers and I do not know if it is possible to live your whole life within the realms of your ever-changing dreams. 

 What I do know is that I do have dreams, but I treat them more as goals. I know that I can change my goals and they will change as I grow. What I put much more effort into is the steps in between the goals or the "dreams" making sure that I am not getting stuck in the past or the future, or what others believe I should be doing. We are adaptable, transformative and strong. When we cling to ideas or aspirations we can easily miss the surprising and delightful learnings that arise when our dreams do not come to life. 

Even the most connected and self-aware individuals end up in places that they never wanted to be. At times I voluntarily place myself in scenarios because it is what I think I should be doing, it makes me look good. This is called being inauthentic, and it is a practice to ditch the safety of inauthenticity and start being real. Being inauthentic does not make you a bad person, it is a behavior and it is human. Being authentic is courageous and gradual.

If we trade in our authenticity for the safer route it is easier at first glance. Eventually it will become exhausting and we put ourselves at higher risk for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment and inexplicable grief (Brene Brown, Gifts of Imperfection). It is the practice of authenticity that can lead us to living wholeheartedly. Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. It is also a rational behavior, not a self-centered one.

It may seem overwhelming to choose authenticity because we live in a society that is very inauthentic. Choosing authenticity would be brave, you risk rejection, fear, lack of trust, ridicule and misunderstanding. However, when you make it through the swamp and become resilient (not letting judgement get under your skin) you will feel energized and free, because you are not having to play chameleon to please the people around you anymore. Again, this is not a self-centered thing, it is actually something that we must practice in order to feel balanced. The truth must come out in some form or fashion, bottling it inside leads to those ailments mentioned above. 

E.E. Cummings wrote: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

You will never reach authenticity because it is not a place it is a behavior. Authenticity, is a practice that is up to you. I too struggle with authenticity, it is part of the human experience. To integrate authenticity back into your life, here are a few steps you could try from some of my favorite writers and business people:

Kelly O'Brien:

 http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4378/5-Ways-to-Become-Your-Authentic-Self-Today.html

Katie Freiling:

http://katiefreiling.com/5-steps-to-authentic-power/

August Turak:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/augustturak/2011/07/19/the-8-steps-to-authentic-leadership/

Blueberry Muffin Tops (grain and dairy free)

I love berries, much more so than other types of fruit. Mostly I think it is nostalgic, going berry picking with my mom, grandmother and sister. Raspberries and blueberries grew in our own backyard, as I would play I would grab a handful and go.

I saw someone eating a delicious looking warm blueberry muffin WITH BUTTER! at the bakery the other day (I was getting a coffee). I haven't been able to kick the craving. Any baked good with a berry is my kryptonite. I love blueberry pancakes, blueberry muffins, berry pies- but my stomach doesn't allow me to process gluten. Here was what I did!

Blueberry muffin tops:
2 cups almond flour
1/4 coconut flour
3 tbsp coconut milk
2 tsp coconut sugar or skip
1 tsp lemon rind
1 1/2 cups blueberries
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp salt
3 eggs

Mix together dry ingredients, then add wet and blueberries! Drop batter onto an oiled baking sheet. Bake for 10 mins at 350. Voila! You could put coconut oil or ghee on your warm muffin. Seriously... SO GOOD!
Enjoy
xo
Wandering Yogini.