Conversation Averted

We've all seen the images of the group of pre-teens sitting around in a group, everyone on their cell phone. I think we are beginning to see neck and wrist injury from the amount of use we put on our devices. What we don't see as much of anymore is people talking on the phone (unrelated to work). There is, at least, a huge generational divide between people that prefer to communicate verbally on the phone or those who prefer text and email.

Do you have a friend, or are you the friend, that always responds back to a voicemail via text? Have you ever seen your phone light up yet you decline to answer and let it ring straight through to VM? I have. 

What drives this decision? Communicating in real time means that I can not control the conversation. The birth of e-mail and text meant I now would have control and my own terms. I get to say exactly what I want to say, when I want to say it. Digital communication takes no more time than you want it to and you can decide even more so than a phonecall, whether the conversation will take place at all. 

It's an interesting thing, to be from the bridge generation. Once, I did not have the choice of communicating electronically. Now I have that option in every converstation I choose to initiate. It has become harder than ever for me to pick up the phone and have a conversation with people that I have predominantly created a relationship with via text and facebook message. 

There is a large amount of uncertainty in a face to face conversation or a phone call.  We do not have the ability to perfect our communication (so we think) or fix every word that we communicate before hitting send, we can't mull over or think of a correct response we must respond immediately. Speaking in person or on the phone does not allow us to define my persona as I want it to be, I have to be comfortable with whatever I am saying and how I am presenting myself in real time without the opportunity to perfect an image. 

We know now that the phonecall and face-to-face conversations are dying institutions. According to a Pew Institute survey performed in 2011, the number of text messages sent monthly in the U.S. had gone from 14 billion in 2000, to 188 billion in 2010. Americans between the ages of 18-29 send and receive an average of 88 text messages per day, compared to 17 phone calls.

A TIME mobility poll discovered that 32% of all respondents said they'd rather communicate by text than phone EVEN with people they knew very well. We aren't chit-chatting anymore. We just want to get down to business, all the time. The problem is that when the small talk is lost. Developmental psychologists have been studying the impact of texting on our youth when interpersonal skills have not fully developed. Missing out on the development of social skills and jumping right into promiscuous use of technology, we lack the ability to truly connect to others. Through having a true conversation with others, either face-to-face or over the telephone, we are able to learn how to have a conversation with ourselves. We gain the ability to reflect on what was said, think about and reason with eachother, and can then do that with ourselves. 

Think about all that gets lost in translation, there is absolutely no context when speaking electronically. Saying I'm sorry is as simple as hitting send. A simple joke can turn into a misinterpreted dig. We don't see people in their vulnerable place, having to tell someone how you feel. Face-to-face allows you to sit with them and share the experience of being uncomfortable and vulnerable- something that is all to relatable. When we communicate over the phone, same thing, the voice conveys the emotion in a very similar manner. Digital makes communication easy, but easy is not what we need. Particularly when learning social skills. We need to feel human emotion and allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable. These are the things that allow us to have strong relationships with ourselves and with others. When we miss out on feeling these emotions and sensations we miss a very vital part in social cue development.

I am not certain, but I would bet that most young people have an aversion to the face-to-face or phonecall conversations, and while adults are not so fearing, we can also become avoidany because it's just easier. We like to choose easy, being uncomfortable is in fact uncomfortable. Admitting we are wrong, asking for forgiveness or confessing a truth is never easy. The fact is that if we never allow ourselves to show this discomfort to others then the context of the message is never recieved and the issue is never truly resolved, it has merely been pushed aside and glossed over. 

Living life through facebook, twitter, text and any other channel of media appears so connected. Truth be told, you are the furthest thing from it.  When we are not sharing together in human emotion we are lonely. We are missing the  very thing that is most vital in creating relationships moving through emotion and learning it to handle conversations with ourselves, so that we are better able to hold them with others. 

Through text and Facebook you are hiding in plain sight, living a life in secret while everyone watches doing the same. 

A few interesting things to check out:

Texting ruins relationships:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katie-d-anderson/teen-texting-the-ruin-of-romance_b_3763576.html

Facebook can't replace face to face conversation: 

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/story/2012-04-29/facebook-face-to-face/54629816/1

Take a hike! Get out of here, go!

                                  The journey from our head to our heart is the longest road.

Does this look familiar?

The journey is even tougher if you live in the western hemisphere, where the ego prevails, insisting that not even "good" is enough. There was a time once, when we were very young, where most of us don't recall being unhappy, because we did have enough- and it probably didn't include internent access or a smartphone.

Simple human connection, a warm place to rest, food to eat and warmth were all you needed to survive. Our thoughts not fully developed yet, were very simple- can we trust? are we hungry? what do we phsyically feel? Yet we see that young children find a lot of joy as they begin to explore the world. Together these things carried us through our early years until that moment.

The moment when we realize our friends are having fun with their toys too, maybe even more because it looks like a pretty damn cool toy that we saw on that commercial.  Now, we need to have that toy too, plus the other 3 things you saw at the toy store. You have been told that you do not have enough by people that want to make a lot of money off of you. Not only does this go for the toy industry, but we all know that the female beauty industry would not even exist if this were not the case. Think about all the things that you do throughout the day in order to make your life better, is it working for you?

When you think about basic human needs, a lot of the discontent people (including myself) are not lacking in things that we need at least some money to buy- food, clothing, shelter. So why are we so depressed and jealous? The underlying factors here are driven by the unconscious desire to survive and thrive.  What our ego holds often looks like greed and materialism but what what's really going on there is the belief that we are not good enough. Only once we have achieved a certain level of status, accumulated wealth or materials, will we be worthy. Of what? I am not exactly sure, but these industries must know- because they have us chasing after it. 

Subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity, freedom- Max-Neef's definition of the fundamental human needs. In order to achieve balance and joy, a person must be experiencing all of these things. When we do not, we start to take the edge off by filling the void with something else. Companies know this and they hire psychologists to study the human mind finding our weaknesses and using that to advertise their products and services.  When we start edging, be it shopping (this is my go to), eating, drinking, over-exercising any sort of behavior that will create a temporary distraction you create a sense of joy that lasts momentarily, enough to give you the rush of wanting to do it again: addiction maybe bordering obsession.


We can do it! But it's a practice!  In many places around the world, where culture is not tainted by main stream media and basic human needs are met, (even if it is a tin sheet for a roof, one pair of shoes/shorts/tee and food to eat) are elated with joy every single day.  They are connected to the people around them in a deep, secure, affectionate, understanding, fun, wanted, needed way. Everyone has a unique role for which they are respected, even if the sphere is as small as a rural family. These people are out working with their hands amongst eachother  for survival and that is enough for them to consciously and subconsciously feel they are living a life of purpose. 

Have you ever participated in a multi-day isolated  group adventure? One where only bare essentials for survival were provided? If so, maybe you too, have experienced a glimmer of that feeling.

When this happens we are able to leave daily trivial worries behind and almost immediately share stories and pee in front of eachother as if we have always been a group. Out there, everyone is disconnected from the grid.  Despite the lack of internet and cable the groups are able to create some of the quickest/strongest connections ever made. How long the connection lasts doesn't really matter. You may walk away and never speak to those people again, leaving a fond memory like a disposable camera but something much more important has happened here: in this group you have established a role and identity for yourself, people know you- the singer, harmonica player, comedian, optimist, pessimist, cook, whatever AND it brings you great joy to share this with them for no reward.  In this group you have created a circle of trust, you will not be left behind and you would help a group member if help were needed. In this group you have discovered that human beings are hardwired for connection, weather realizing it or not a group dynamic quickly forms and rarely is there a clique. 

I would never expect that everyone would want to go on a group trek and find some purpose, but it helps to demonstrate how we can truly share our personas when we are in a safe space, feel needed and feel that you are vital part of the group. The trek is a fully encompassing example for me, because I have had that experience.  Maybe you have felt it by other means? 

There are small steps that we can take to allow ourselves to feel deeper connection and let go of the mind so you can live from your heart.  But you need to discover what works for you. Your ego is always going to tell you to do more, be better, win, gain, go! Your heart is witness to the fact, you are indeed already enough. You are a unique, imperfectly perfect, human of purpose and divinity no matter what material possessions indicate. How can you start to create space for yourself to believe that as true? How can you find others to support you who know that this is true for you? 

I wish I could take a trek once a month or more, making it a huge part of my life because I love it so much. Hiking is great ya, but I love how well I get to know these people in such a short amount of time. Because that is not practical, on a daily basis it is my yoga teaching practice- being honest, open and there for my friends- fellow teachers - yogis. 

Don't suffer from life- paralysis.

"Life-paralysis refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It’s also all of the dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others." 
- Brené Brown in "The Gifts of Imperfection" 

This morning I had a brief and meaningful conversation with one of my students. I have noticed lately mostly middle-aged adults talking about their dreams, sadly some say that their lives have not turned out how they had imagined and that this was a large source of anxiety and depression. Some spoke about feeling as if they were in a cycle, at times complacent with their current state, at other times extremely frustrated and unable to create change. 

After listening in for a moment, one of the students asked me what my dream was. She wanted to see if I was headed in the direction of my dreams and hear that it is actually possible to live the life of your dreams. I do not have all the answers and I do not know if it is possible to live your whole life within the realms of your ever-changing dreams. 

 What I do know is that I do have dreams, but I treat them more as goals. I know that I can change my goals and they will change as I grow. What I put much more effort into is the steps in between the goals or the "dreams" making sure that I am not getting stuck in the past or the future, or what others believe I should be doing. We are adaptable, transformative and strong. When we cling to ideas or aspirations we can easily miss the surprising and delightful learnings that arise when our dreams do not come to life. 

Even the most connected and self-aware individuals end up in places that they never wanted to be. At times I voluntarily place myself in scenarios because it is what I think I should be doing, it makes me look good. This is called being inauthentic, and it is a practice to ditch the safety of inauthenticity and start being real. Being inauthentic does not make you a bad person, it is a behavior and it is human. Being authentic is courageous and gradual.

If we trade in our authenticity for the safer route it is easier at first glance. Eventually it will become exhausting and we put ourselves at higher risk for anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment and inexplicable grief (Brene Brown, Gifts of Imperfection). It is the practice of authenticity that can lead us to living wholeheartedly. Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. It is also a rational behavior, not a self-centered one.

It may seem overwhelming to choose authenticity because we live in a society that is very inauthentic. Choosing authenticity would be brave, you risk rejection, fear, lack of trust, ridicule and misunderstanding. However, when you make it through the swamp and become resilient (not letting judgement get under your skin) you will feel energized and free, because you are not having to play chameleon to please the people around you anymore. Again, this is not a self-centered thing, it is actually something that we must practice in order to feel balanced. The truth must come out in some form or fashion, bottling it inside leads to those ailments mentioned above. 

E.E. Cummings wrote: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

You will never reach authenticity because it is not a place it is a behavior. Authenticity, is a practice that is up to you. I too struggle with authenticity, it is part of the human experience. To integrate authenticity back into your life, here are a few steps you could try from some of my favorite writers and business people:

Kelly O'Brien:

 http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4378/5-Ways-to-Become-Your-Authentic-Self-Today.html

Katie Freiling:

http://katiefreiling.com/5-steps-to-authentic-power/

August Turak:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/augustturak/2011/07/19/the-8-steps-to-authentic-leadership/

Blueberry Muffin Tops (grain and dairy free)

I love berries, much more so than other types of fruit. Mostly I think it is nostalgic, going berry picking with my mom, grandmother and sister. Raspberries and blueberries grew in our own backyard, as I would play I would grab a handful and go.

I saw someone eating a delicious looking warm blueberry muffin WITH BUTTER! at the bakery the other day (I was getting a coffee). I haven't been able to kick the craving. Any baked good with a berry is my kryptonite. I love blueberry pancakes, blueberry muffins, berry pies- but my stomach doesn't allow me to process gluten. Here was what I did!

Blueberry muffin tops:
2 cups almond flour
1/4 coconut flour
3 tbsp coconut milk
2 tsp coconut sugar or skip
1 tsp lemon rind
1 1/2 cups blueberries
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp salt
3 eggs

Mix together dry ingredients, then add wet and blueberries! Drop batter onto an oiled baking sheet. Bake for 10 mins at 350. Voila! You could put coconut oil or ghee on your warm muffin. Seriously... SO GOOD!
Enjoy
xo
Wandering Yogini.

The greatest reward.

This post is inspired by a newer friend of mine. But honestly, I am so inspired by all of you, that I am not sure why it didn't come sooner. Everyday there are people I know taking a stand for themselves, others and their happiness. As we shift back towards a society that is rooted in spiritual and physical well-being, I am beginning to notice people letting go of past belief systems. They are jumping into a new world of possibility, leaving jobs they don't love, getting rid of negative people and systems that no longer serve them and turning to a new outlook on self-fulfillment. When asked why they do not pursue this route sooner, it usually comes back to fear and self-limiting beliefs. Do you believe that limits may only exist in our minds? The dreams we dare to dream might not be as unattainable as we think.

My friend chose a job that allowed him to live a life that he would love. A job that made him excited to come to work, where he could do what he loves and make a life over a living. What is the point of money if you are not happy? Isn't the greatest reward to be living a life that you love? All of these things that we surround ourselves with are temporary. Often the things that bring you momentary satisfaction, can consume our lives (think the paycheck that keeps buying your time to stay longer). Of course the decision was not easy, weighing in finance, opinions of others and the uncertainty of the new profession are very scary. In the end, what was scarier was a life of mediocrity. A life where we settle to be comfortable with complaining, but never trying on the what-if. My friend did! Emotions changed moment to moment up to the big decision. Once you jump you will see, you always find a way to make things work. In the end, the heart beats out the mind every time.

It seems that in order to overcome the barrier of the mind (what we think is possible) and jump into our heart (what is possible/what we really want), we must first overcome the self-limiting self beliefs. We must be in love with ourselves. Not in an egotistical, I am the best type of way, but rather in that you are capable, strong and worthy of everything that you desire to pursue, accepting yourself exactly where you are and honoring your uniqueness. You must also know that though your dreams may be the similar to the dreams of others, you will provide a completely different experience. This is simply because, you are, the one-and-only you.

When we learn to love ourselves and we are committed to ourselves, we will always make choices that support our health, spiritual and mental well-being despite what others may say or believe. We must accept ourselves where we are at. When we learn to love ourselves the comparison stops and the truth begins. What you create will always be original if you deliver from your heart. At the end of the day, the only person you answer to is you. No one will care about what you deliver a month from now, everyone is consumed in their own life, as they should be! The real question is, did it make you happy?

As a yoga teacher, I hear fear creep up often. I have fears of my own. What is it that is going to set me apart? I teach the same flow as these teachers who are awesome. The fact is that some students aren't going to love your class or my class, and it might feel the same as others. Greater than that is, some students will LOVE our classes, for all that we have to offer, not as the yoga teacher but as the person.  It is the perspective you bring into your room that separates you from everyone else in the world, it is the perspective and love that no one else is able to give. We have to remind ourselves of this often, and practice this often. This can be said of any journey, not just the yoga teacher. It could be a chef, an artist, a musician- the list never ends.

I am so excited to hear what your reality life is, I refuse to call it a dream life now. Knowing that our thoughts are things, we can make it happen once we learn to use our fear as a resource. What are your goals? Are you motivated for the right reasons? If you were to dissolve off the earth tomorrow, would you have said that everything you are doing in this moment was by choice? Most importantly, would you say you were living a life that you love? I challenge you to leave your socially trained mind, and listen to your heart. See what comes up and train yourself to move through the fear and into what is possible, because YOU are the miracle, and that is the greatest reward.

Grateful for the Challenges

When it rains, it pours. I don't know why this statement proves true over and over again. It goes without explanation that it is very easy to get overwhelmed, scared and anxious in times of unexpected transition. What can we rely on? That in our lives, change and challenge are inevitable. 

We spend a lot of time replaying what-if scenarios and how things could have gone differently. There are two things you must realize when it comes to challenges and learning to embrace them. First, it will never be the same. Second, that is a beautiful truth.

If you have ever read a book like "The Secret", or paid any attention to the law of attraction, you may slowly begin to realize, things that happen to us are manifested by our thoughts. What you focus on expands.

Sound crazy? Here are some examples. About a year ago I had been thinking about selling my car. I thought about it every day and never took the next steps to proceed. It seemed like too much work. About a week ago, I totaled my car. In the moment, I thought many things. Including that this could be the worst thing that has ever happened to me. My insurance would go up, the people were pissed at me, my family would be pissed at me, this is such an inconvenience, I can't deal with this, I don't have time. Everyone was okay and thank God for that. After two days of chaos and getting things figured out, I finally had some time to sit down and processed what had happened. I remembered thinking about how high my payments had been and how expensive full coverage was. I was oddly relieved at the thought of not having to pay them anymore. I also thought about how I had put it in my goals to go a whole year without a vehicle, conveniently I do not have one. I remembered thinking about how much I wanted to sell my car and move on. I didn't have to do that. I was getting a check from my insurance company for the remaining value of what was left! I let go of the outcome and embraced what was possible.

About a week after the car accident, I left my job. Sort of by choice, sort of not, a bit torn. Again, this was the worst thing that could have happened! I was going to go broke, no one would hire me and I was not valued (so ridiculous, but our minds can be...) I had been debating quitting my job for months, and now I had this big check from my insurance company so that I could take some time to figure things out! 

These two examples are rather small compared to challenges that we will face in our lives. But in the moment, every challenge seems large and overwhelming. When we zoom out and look big picture, we see these moments of transition are usually the moments we can thank for allowing us to develop and grow.

In the initial moments of encountering our challenges, we face all of our demons. The fear, anxiety, comparison, shit we are horrible sort of feelings set in. In the clarity of space and time, we begin to realize how the universe continues to work in our favor if we can continue to shift our perspectives. The thoughts that we have and continue to feed, will manifest themselves in the most unorthodox ways. 

Sadly even loss of friendship or family, could be what allowed you to be free and untied to move closer to your destination. Please do not take this the wrong way, but it can be so powerful to shift perspective around things, and find the slightest amount of gratitude in each event that takes place in your life. How can we find the good in all of this? What allows to move beyond the healthy grieving,  through gratitude and into light? We must mourn but we also must recover, that is what anyone would want for you. 

When you ask a mountaineer why they climb, they would probably speak about overcoming fear, sharpening focus, building strength and character. We must stop seeing our challenges as dead ends and as the mountain summit that hides beyond the clouds. Use this visualization to fuel your determination to succeed anyway focusing on the benefits you stand to gain in the process.

If you learn to see your mountains as a welcome opportunity to stretch and grow beyond where you are now, you will never encounter a mountain that can't be climbed. Allow your gratitude to help you climb. When you are grateful for the experiences that strengthen you, the journey is worth all the while when you are standing at the top in your strength. 

What I can't get enough of right now: Chocolate Coconut Mousse

For real this time... I give up dairy, minus the occasional ghee or goat cheese. What I miss most is ice cream! This past weekend I was in Boston for an engagement party. I haven't been to the city in almost a year! 

In this span of a year I had discovered a little alternative (non-dairy) ice cream shop called FoMu (http://www.fomuicecream.com). Finally, I had an excuse to stop. It was SO GOOD. Arguably better than ice cream that is made with dairy. I got strawberry and chocolate with hot fudge, cocoa nibs and coconut whipped cream! 

The whipped cream was one of the best things I have ever tasted. When I got home, I was on a mission to find a recipe. I didn't find exactly what I was looking for but I got enough ideas to play on my own. 

Here is what I came up with:

Ingredients: 

2 cans of coconut milk- refrigerate overnight. 

as much cocoa powder as you want

optional sweetener- maple syrup, honey, stevia

vanilla extract

 Pull the cans of coconut milk out of the fridge. Flip the can upside down, open it and drain out the coconut water (you can drink that or put it in a smoothie, don't throw it out). 

 Dump the contents into a big bowl.

 Whip the coconut cream until it forms peaks, and fills with air. Should double in size roughly. 

 Add in the flavoring of your choice- here I did vanilla and unsweetened raw cocoa powder. 

 Final product- a cool creamy summer treat.

Choosing balance

For a few months now I have been practicing a self-reflection every night before I go to bed. I literally run through the day in my mind and reflect on who I chose to be in the defining moments of the day. It has allowed me to create a greater self-awareness. I am becoming clearer on the difference between my truth and my ego. One of the things that I originally noticed in my self-reflection is that I was rarely making time for myself to be alone. In the off-chance that I was at home on my own, I typically was doing something to increase productivity: trying to plant as many micro-greens as possible, clearing out my closet, creating vision boards, getting ahead on work at home... all while having the music turned up really loud! No wonder I was been feeling out of balance, I was also in a period of professional and personal transition. All of the projects that I had taken on, even using my new ice-cream maker, had turned into a checklist that needed to be done out of necessity rather than recreation. After playing around with my schedule and trying new techniques to create balance, I realized that balance is a choice in every moment. It is never going to just happen. 

We often think that balance is something we achieve by moving through periods of chaos. We will reach balance when we get to the other side. Have you ever thought when I get past this work, through this testing time in relationship, you would magically find balance? This turns out to be untrue. When we free time up someplace, we quickly run to find something new to fill up with. It is part of how we are programmed. Turning on my self-awareness was the first step to creating balance. I noticed that I quickly fill up my plate when a portion empties because I feel like there are so many things that need to be accomplished. When I realized that I was getting a lot done, but the quality of my life and relationships was suffering, I took a step back to reflect on the bigger picture. I took a stand for my relationships and knew that the way I was living was not sustainable and was not benefitting anyone that really mattered to me. I committed myself to holding space for quality conversations over the phone and in person, even if I was not able to see friends and family as often as I used too. 

The second step was choosing balance in every moment. There will be days where there is nothing to do but relax, but there will also be those 14 hour days spent in anxiety and frustration. In every single moment, you are in choice about what you need to create balance within yourself in that moment. You can feel in your body what it means to be spread to thin, or overwhelmed. If you come back to your truest intention- happiness, self-love and BALANCE, you can turn on big-picture thinking and let go of the details of the moment. You turn on your ability to say no, to put things down and take a breath.

We also must realize that balance is never going to just happen. I challenge you to shift your perspective in your life right now. Focus in on what is truly important to you, and you will see those areas of your life grow. Know and believe that it is possible to get things done and maintain healthy relationships with yourself and others, and then you will see the idea come to fruition. 

It is a constant battle, you go into the hole and you climb your way out, then you slip back in and crawl out. Human beings were not created for the stresses of our moden day life. Choosing balance is so important to our health and well-being. The cose of not choosing balance is your health! When we get ill, it is triggered by an emotional or spiritual stressor. Stress weakens your immune system and literally creates negativity in your body, which creates space for illness to attack. Eliminating the attachments we have to negativity, frees up space and possibility. It will alleviate and prevent health issues.

In every moment you must choose balance. Only you know what creates fulfillment and abundance in your life, it is your responsibility to live into those measurements. 

 

Happy Earth Day!

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity...” 
― John Muir

You are hard pressed to walk anywhere today and find someone without a smart phone.  Though these technologies have allowed us to "simplify processes", they may actually have only made other systems more complex. A lot of social anxiety and depression is propelled by the ability to live life through a screen. People become attached to material things, and their true purpose of being gets blurred. Clarity and serenity are only available when we are able to practice gratitude. What better a place to practice gratitude than towards our earth- the endless supply of water, oxygen and food that we have been so graciously provided with. Slowing down and spending time outdoors is the invaluable solution to most of the stresses that we endure. 

There are many things that we can do for our health, but I believe the physical falls after the spiritual. For me the spiritual begins with the outdoors. There is no denying that there is a greater purpose, after taking in the intricate beauty and magnificence of the outdoors. The very best thing that we can do for our health and happiness is to have an intimate relationship with nature.  

I was recently told by a friend that I was a conduit for mother earth, that she was going to use me to deliver messages. It sounds far fetched, but regardless of whether or not it is true, me believing this only contributes to the greater good. Mostly, for this reason, I began writing in my blog again. Teaching yoga and spreading word about my passion for the outdoors is allowing these messages to come to fruition. I wouldn't really have anything good to say if it weren't for this strong connection that I feel. I am able to grow the connection by spending as much time as possible outside. 

I am inspired by teachers like Eoin Finn from the Blissology Project (http://www.blissology.com/), I know that I echo his sentiments after reading his most recent blog post. I want to share the love we (and many others) have found with everyone! Being submerged in nature allows doors to open and closes doors that we want to stay shut.

Cliche- but being one with the universe, allowing yourself to be supported and acknowledging our earth for that support is one of the most powerful things that we can bring awareness to. As soon as we begin to practice this gratitude, the "how lucky am I to be alive amidst this beauty?!" attitude begins to seep into the other areas of your life. You will find balance, energy and peace from within. You will learn that you don't need anything else to satisfy the ego, you are as you are on this earth and that is awesome. 

Namaste! 

Grounding yourself

Hate wearing shoes? Me too. We have come to think of footwear as a vital part of our lives, but only 20 percent of the world's population wears shoes. In our Western society, shoes are necessary for most public settings but we can start to create a practice that might pull us back a little closer to our roots. 

Mostly, I like being barefoot because I enjoy the feeling of wet grass or gravely earth beneath my feet. If I am forced to wear shoes, it is usually a pair of flip-flops or mocassins. After a WillPower and Grace class (where you are barefoot and work on your connection to your feet and the earth) I began exploring the notion of more. There had to be more behind the simple want of sensation experienced through my feet. There was! Being barefoot allows me to feel connected to the earth, not just temporary vehicle for shit to happen to. 

Turns out that going barefoot is exactly what your body needs.  Sound less than desirable? Well let that go, because although you are turned off by the idea of dirt on your feet, or tracking it into your home, the reality is that we have been desensitized. We eat and drink chemical laden substitutions. We waste time in front of computers, on cell-phones or watching TV. We wonder why we get sick, have no energy and harbor depression. As you well know, human beings were created for much more than these sad realities. Majority of people do not take time to return back to the beginning, rooted in the earth. 

We all need to continually recharge our delicate internal ecosystem. While sleep is one of the most beneficial means to recalibrating our hormones, it is not the only way to for your body to rebalance itself. The earth is a giant charging pad for our bodies. By connecting to the earth (literally standing barefoot in the dirt), we are able to ground our complex electrical system with the earth’s natural balance. When we do this it helps to optimize our own physiology, circulation and immune system. 

Scientists and researchers are making the case that earthing (direct contact with the ground outside), for 20 minutes per day creates a significant difference in blood thickness and hormonal balance, particularly in the adrenals. Theoretically, by going barefoot on the grass, we can lower inflammation in our bodies, improve our sleep and reduce chronic pain. 

It is very easy to get quickly excited by these facts, but turn on the news and you are overwhelmed by the statistics about the current rate of destruction on our planet. By taking a stand for your personal health, well-being and preservation, you will influence others to begin. Your efforts and care, encourage others to do the same. Start by trying barefoot for a bit, it is the simplest way to re-connect to our earth. Consider it a humbling of oneself, gratitude. 

There are some simple ways that you can start, try gardening without your clogs.  Take time to make contact with earth. Take your lunch break outside and sit on the grass while you eat. Walk through the woods and touch (or hug!) a tree, go to the waters edge and walk the shore. Make a commitment to yourself and our earth, to optimize your health and our planet's health through practicing this at least one day per week.

People who regularly spend barefoot time outside report having more energy, feel better rested and less stressed. They are more likely to take positive action and act with environmental awareness. Take a walk with your family after dinner to the park, kick of your shoes and run around in the grass. This practice will teach you to slow down, to connect to your foundation and to feel grounded (literally). 

“Going barefoot is the gentlest way of walking and can symbolise a way of living — being authentic, vulnerable, sensitive to our surroundings. It’s the feeling of enjoying warm sand beneath our toes, or carefully making our way over sharp rocks in the darkness. It’s a way of living that has the lightest impact, removing the barrier between us and nature.”

— Adele Coombs, “Barefoot Dreaming''

For more information and references visit: http://www.barefooters.org/key-works/KeyArticles.html

Love like a child

Have you ever taken the time to watch the way a child loves and thanks – without filters or reservations? Do you love humans unconditionally? Or do you only show love when it feels safe or self-rewarding?

I am so blessed to have two amazing younger brothers. I was recently recalling one occasion when I was helping my mother out by putting the one of my brothers to sleep. I laid next to him in his race car bed and pretended to shut my eyes. He pulled the blanket over me and started to scratch my back.

I had just missed his birthday party and forgot his present at home. I felt like the shittiest big sister ever because I was so caught up in work and my own life, that I couldn't remember a very important date for him. Okay- yes it was adorable and I started to laugh but it got me thinking. He had already forgotten that I forgot. I was still holding on to my story that I was a shitty sister and he was just glad to have me there, he was grateful and loving. Something that I thought I should learn a lot from. 

How to practice love & gratitude:

It is difficult to love humanity unconditionally when someone cuts you off in the parking lot, I understand! In this moment of choice- I challenge you to shift your perspective and practice love and gratitude. Practicing thanks will relieve your stress and emotion, as well as open doors for new possibility. Where you once would be quick to roll your eyes at the woman who cuts you off at the coffee shop- you leave feeling grateful and enlightened. Imagine the last time that something like this happened to you. Did you take that interaction, interpret it as a negative and carry that load with you all day? It probably tainted your work day, then you were crabby when you came home and then you probably told a couple of friends or family members. Imagine what energy you could have saved and created, if you were to let it go, choosing love and kindness over reciprocation.

When a scenario like this takes place, take a deep breath, send a positive thought and move on. 

After consciously practicing this for a while (always still a work in progress). I think to myself in these sort of situations what could be going on in their life? Who am I to judge what has brought them to this action? Are they aware of the consequences their actions will have? People have circumstances that land them in these scenarios every day. One behavior is not a reflection of a person's true being. We have all been on the other side of the fence, would you want that to be the moment that your character was judged? 

The truth is that you get to decide what the outcome will be. You can either choose to be in reaction or choose love and gratitude. The universe will reward those that choose gratitude. Children often use it in a positive manner and realize that human interaction/relationship is our purpose in this world, we should be trying to make people happy and feel valued all of the time! For children there is no thought to prior experiences, no stories they create, just seeing emotion and resolving it for better.

Once, we were children too. Now, tainted by the values of our society we have layers and layers of crap that prevent us from truly showing our soul and intention to one another. Through the practice of gratitude, and choosing who you will be in every single moment, you can slowly start to peel back the layers. It will leave you feeling free, light and of limitless potential.

“Compassion crowns the soul with its truest victory.” 

― Aberjhani

Power of Your Word

I have been thinking a lot about our words and how we use them to create pain, joy, confusion, clarity... The list goes on and on. I have gathered the many words and thoughts in my head and narrowed it down to these laws that I have consciously put into my verbal practice. These rules are influenced by my encounters with religion, spirituality and philosophy. Have a read and word me what you think.

Less is more.

Our words are like a muscle, they must be maintained and exercised to function correctly. If we overwork them, we will exhaust them, if we do not use them enough they will be equally as weak. When we are speaking, we must speak with intention. The more words we use the less powerful our point becomes. It takes practice to be a concise speaker, but a practice well worth it. Being concise will make you a clear communicator and quickly elevate relationships in your life. 

Being concise does not mean hold back. Our words allow us to connect to one-another. Be generous with your words, sharing thoughts and asking questions.  We must learn the balance, when to speak and when to listen. Equally as important, we must learn when we are preventing people from listening because our communication is unclear, jumbled and past the listener's attention span. 

Honor your word.

Regardless of status, our word is all we truly have. When you do not honor your word it loses it's power. Example: you tell someone you will arrive at 7PM, continually you are 15 minutes late.

It seems like a minor detail, but eventually people begin to lose faith in your word. Your track record shows that you never do what you say you will, by when you say you will do it. You will likely notice that if you are this person, you show up late for most events and you are quick to call cancellations. Is it any wonder that you are not the first person they call when they need someone that they can rely on? You have not given them reason to believe you otherwise, creating more work to build trust and gain power back to their interpretation of your word. 

If you continually honor your word you will find that you are automatically trusted and respected by those close to you without having to fight for it. 

Speak power into your life.

In personal dialogue we have the ability to speak power into our lives.  It is possible to move the mountains in your life by commanding that they be removed. What does this mean? It means that you are taking back the control over situations that you have allowed to control you. You give them new meaning and look at it as an opportunity to shift towards a positive, happiness-based perspective.

For instance, you lose your job. You could do one of two things, throw a pity party, or say: GREAT! now I have the opportunity to search for a new career in something that truly interests me! You can turn any bad trial into triumph by speaking words of optimism and encouragement to yourself and to the ones around you. 

Takeaways:

In normal conversation, be clear in what you are trying to communicate. You could explain why you were late in 50 sentences or you could say I messed up I am late. Saving you time, energy and face... because you also took responsibility.

In relationships and career- be candid, clear and honest! Honor your word, do what you say you are going to do when you say you will do it!

Speak power into your life, set goals! Success is always the result of opportunity meeting preparation! Work towards your goals and speak about them out loud. Put it into to the universe and watch what will happen.